Welcome to my World

Unity

2010-09-13T16:36:00.002+10:00

The things we dont see in life.

How do we make a difference in this world?

When the people who want it, dont have the resources?

When the people who has the resources, but dont want it?

How do we find the right people?

As a child, we lack knowledge and energy to make a difference.

As a young adult, we have the energy and motivation but lack the knowldge.

As a veteran, we have the knowledge and wisdom but lack the energy.

But what if we can work together?What if we work as one body? Imagine the things that can be achieved.... Imagine...

Get Your PS3 SLIM 120GB NOW!!!

2010-08-21T09:28:00.000+10:00

The Where AM I? ebook will be pre-launched from today 1pm

What are the advantages of the pre-launch?
1. You get a discounted rate from the original price.
2. First 5 people who buy it goes into a draw of getting the book not only as an ebook but also receiving the physical book for free.
3. first 200 people to buy gets into the draw to win a PS3 slim 120GB

GET YOUR EBOOK NOW AT WWW.DEVOTIONCENTRAL.COM

terms and conditions : Competition closes once 200 purchases are made. Draw will happen after competition closes. Draws will be made based on receipt numbers. Winners will be contacted via email and products will be mailed to the winnder's address. No postage fees will be charged. COmpetition applies only for those who are in receipt of this message. Competition code : prelaunch2010

Survey

2010-07-30T09:37:00.003+10:00

Before the launch of the ebook, it would be helpful if you guys can complete this simple survey. Only takes 5 seconds. =)

Take our Online Survey

Daily Devotional eBook

2010-07-29T23:12:00.017+10:00

Launch Date :
1 OCT 2010

Finding the right devotional material may not be as simple as it may seem. Grabbing one randomly off a shelf without first having someone experienced to review it might be more detrimental than it might be helpful. It is essential that a devotional book is based on biblical standards and not just “good ideas” that someone came out with.

This book has been reviewed and recommended by many highly regarded individuals including Doctor Steve Kumar, a familiar name in the apologetic world who wrote the book “Christianity for Sceptics”.

This book is not only thought provoking but is also compacted with much depth and insight, yet it is explained in a simple manner that even the simplest of mind would be able to understand and learn from it.

In this highly recommended e-book “Where Am I?”, you will discover how to look at struggles and situations from angles that you have never seen before. This book is truly an eye-opener for all.

WHy ebook? Its because these days people read their stuff on the internet, on their phone and on their ipad rather than physical books. With this devotional ebook, it can be stored in your phone, computer and ipad and read at any time.It is inspirational and has helped hundreds to get back on track. It will be launching in October where you would be able to purchase online with your credit card or paypal account. It is secure and has money back gurantee. Introductory price will be slashed from USD$20 right down to USD$10. Credit cards will automatically convert the currency for you. If you want, you can email me and let me know so that I will be able to notify you when it will be launched to grab hold of the introductory offer. The price is put down to half price for you to be able to have a read at an affordable price so that you can tell your friends about the quality of insight this book offers. This offer is only valid for 3 months after launch date.

Author :
Rev Kelvin Sim had pioneered 2 key churches; one in Malaysia known as Church of Praise Johor Bahru and one in Melbourne, Australia known as Life Solution Christian Church. He is also the founder and director of a Ministry-centred Organization called High Impact Ministries. He has served the Lord as a Senior Pastor since 1988. He is a spiritual mentor to many young servants of God who are currently serving the Lord as pioneers of a church and ministers of the gospel.

Synopsis:

“Where am I?” explores our everyday challenges and helps us to face them from
biblical perspectives. This book exhorts believers to pursue and to persevere in their
faith should they find themselves intensely nervous and also filled with doubt and
uncertainty.

Many examples from articles and personal experiences are used. Quotes are given to
inspire us with wisdom and common sense that can be developed in the course of
the journey. Bible Scriptures are expounded to tackle any related issues pertaining to
the ‘lost’ effect. It shows us that we can get back to a meaningful and vibrant living as
long as we follow God’s track.

“Without the knowledge of where you are, you can’t know how close or far away you are from your destination.” By Ellen Moore

REVIEWS :

It gives me great pleasure to recommend the work of Rev Kelvin Sim. As a writer myself I am impress with his wisdom and insight he brings into the pages of this volume. In this age of confusion his contribution is not only valuable but necessary for the success and progress of Christianity today.
Dr Steve Kumar, Apologist and Author of “Christianity for Skeptics”

Firstly, I want to say that the title of this book is very thought provoking and soul searching as it engages the reader to begin searching his very own life and its journey. It also allows for the reader to empathize with the writer in his personal accounts and experiences of his life’s journey.

Secondly, I want to say that the acronym used, LOST is brilliant as it truly encompasses the whole message and motive of this book.

Thirdly, this book is filled with Biblical references and quotations that would really challenge and inspire the reader to really want to make something of his life.

I recommend this book to anyone and everyone that is serious about God’s purposes and plans for his life and also those who are still searching for their identity in God.

Rev. Peter Misso,
Pastor of 2G Church and a former director of Teen Challenge (Singapore)

"I am very proud to be given a chance to review my good friend's book. The thing that impressed me the most is the way Pastor Kelvin express his sensitivity to hear from God all the time - even from the simplest of events of his life. It is this kind of spiritual sensitivity that makes a man of God. Throughout this book, you will find devotional thoughts based on the Word of God. These devotional thoughts are made real by his personal testimonies and the testimonies of other men and women of God. Whether you are a lay person or a minister of the Word, you will be enriched as you read this book. Because, all of us need to come back to God . . . over and over again . . . "
Rev Yee Tham Wan,
President of Asia Pacific Theological Seminary in Baguio, Philippines

‘Where Am I’ is a well written devotional book with much depth and insight and yet simple, practical, and helpful in facing realities in our Christian walk. Kelvin’s insight and ability to connect biblical truths to the realities of life has made this book a great resource book. I would strongly recommend this book.
Rev Christopher Mun,
Senior Pastor of Tabernacle of Worship, Seremban, Malaysia

Please spare 5 seconds and take our Online Survey

Online jobs

2010-07-28T16:24:00.002+10:00

So Ive searched high and low,..

ANd Ive comed across one of the best way to earn money.
Earn money from home! It gives you time and space for family, for free time, etc.
One of the places I would recommend to start off with is the Legit Online Jobs

Click Here! to find out more about it =)

Money vs Ministry

2010-06-23T10:42:00.002+10:00

How true it is when it was said no one can serve two masters. You get torn in between....

What shall I do after I graduate next year? I dont know...
If I plan my working life and investments correctly...I'll be a millionaire by mid 30's... or at 40 at max.

So whats holding me back? The urge for ministry.... time and time again i find myself clicking into bible college websites scrolling down masters and doctorate degrees...Why? I dont know. I dont want to. Or do I? If somehow I do this, I'll probably miss the millionaire dream and probably have to depend on God's grace day to day....

Can I just do both? why cant I be rich, retire..then study? why the urge to do everything at once in my youth? WIll I miss out on a calling, opportunity?

Direct my paths oh Lord, as I have the knowledge to achieve any of these dream, but I lack the wisdom to guide my own path in the right direction. I need divine wisdom, someone who can see things outside the continuum of time. Grant me purpose, grant me favour as I will bless your name in whatever ways you direct me in the future. Don't let me lose sight, let me not take my eyes off you.

Surveys

2010-06-18T16:14:00.004+10:00

Remember how I said you can get paid for doing surveys?
Well here is one of it.

My Opinions
Basically You collect up to 6000 points then you can cash out for $50 into your paypal account which is a secure way of transfering into your bank account.
Each Survey varies by points depending on the surveyer in how much they want to pay.
But You can average out that each survey is approximately 500 points which is about $3 or so.
You get a few surveys each week...just do it for fun in your own leisure and after a month you should be able to cash it out!
Note : you have to verify your phone number and mailing address for faster transaction.
Here is the link
Be rewarded for your opinions! Join MyOpinions today!

Valued Opinions
Very Straight forward. for this one.
Each survey, they will let you know how much they are gonna pay you. Range from $2-$5 and once you reach $20 you can claim a coles myer gift card or any gift card of your choice.
Here is the link.
Click here to join Now

If they ask who was your referrer, just state my email, you might get a bonus =)
And try not to cheat, or they might ban you from participating in any further surveys.
Just do it in your leisure time, =)

World Cup 2010- jubilani ball

2010-06-15T13:25:00.004+10:00

Talk of the year... the controversial Jabulani Ball..

Construction

8 bonded 3d moulded Polyurethane panels make for a near-waterproof 'roundest ever' ball.

Yes, it has been controversial at the way the ball flies in the air...why?
Well it follows the FIFA standards in terms of size, weight, water absorption,etc ...no doubt.
But regular soccer balls are built with 32 hexagonal panels but this jabulani ball has only 8 panels! This gives a very smooth flight. On top of it , it is also a very heavy ball (still within FIFA standards range.

It supposedly gives more accuracy to players.
But looking at the way the Jabulani has been flying around, most of the professional players arent able to accomate the "roundest" ball on earth and accounts to the level of football deteriorating this season.

Have a look at how smooth this Jabulani ball is..

Here is what some has to say about the ball....

'It is a bit like a beach ball. You cannot trust it really. With some of the goals you set the ball going off in one direction and it moves in another. As soon as you put any air into a pass it's a lottery.'
England's Michael Carrick

'It's frustrating…it makes us look like drunken sailors.'
Denmark's Daniel Agger

'The new ball is not decent, not just for goalkeepers but for everyone. Its trajectory is unpredictable.'
Italy's Gianluigi Buffon (right)

'Suddenly it changes trajectory. It's like it doesn't want to be kicked. It's incredible, like someone is guiding it. You go to kick it and it moves out of the way. I think it's supernatural, it's very bad.'
Brazil's Luis Fabiano

'It's a little sad that in a competition as big as the World Cup to have such a poor ball. It's not just goalkeepers complaining, but the outfield players too.'
Spain's Iker Casillas

'It's a catastrophe! I have played with many different balls, some of which wiggled or changed directions, but this one is the worst.'
Serbia's Vladimir Stojkovic

'You jump up to head a cross and suddenly the ball will move and you will miss it!' Italy's Giampaolo Pazzini

'It keeps you from sleeping because you are thinking about tomorrow and how you are going to manage to play with this ball.'
South Africa's Itumeleng Khune

'Adidas are not being fair on goalkeepers… This ball has a mind of its own.'
South Africa's Moeneeb Josephs

'It's terrible…like a ball from a supermarket.'
Brazil's Julio Cesar

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/worldcup2010/article-1285931/Jamie-Redknapp-goes-ball-istic--I-struck-World-Cup-Jabulani-exploded-boot.html#ixzz0qtH9Fuj0

As for the Socceroos...

The team that trashed Japan 3-1, drew with Coratia 2-2, had Brazil to struggle a 2-0 win and forced Italy into an injury time penalty winner in 2006 has now dissapointed fans with a 4-0 lost to Germany. Question remains...was Germany that good or was Australia just past its peak.
With the defenders averaging the age of 33, it was quite obvious they were slow at reacting to attack and stuggled with pace over the Germans.

Well, no doubt Pim Verbeek had kept his cards and will still have some tricks up his sleeve... With Harry Kewell and Bresciano kept like gold investments, waiting to be unleashed. I would have kept Cahill on the bench for the Germany game as well.. Since Germany was meant to be a loss anyway, why bother risking the good players? Well, Ghana and Serbia, here we come...

Earning extra

2010-06-10T23:15:00.003+10:00

Time to get this blog up and running again!

Ok so the past few months has been exciting. As I have embarked on a journey to make money and hopefully become a millionaire by 40 yrs old. I have found alot of ways in which you can actually make money and it has been quite facinating.

Term deposits
Lock in your term deposits if the rate is 6% and above. If money is giving you extra money..why not?It is risk free and you will not lose anything.

Shares
This is probably the best way to make money work for you. Money grows more money as what Ive learned. Having said that, it is also important to pick the right shares. Banks are probably the safest. They pay you dividends as well. If you are looking for long term investing in shares and wondering when is the right time to buy? the answer is now! Yes..in short term, price does fluctuate, but in long term, it always ends up on top. Long term for shares can be calssified as 3-5 years.

If you keep your shares for a minimum of 1 year, you only get taxed for half the profit which is really tax effective.You can also start with small amounts like $500. The return rate is also higher compare to other vehicles of investment.

Property
This really depends on where you are. I wouldnt recommend this so much in other countries, but in Australia, it is an excellent prospect. But to get into this market, you need at least 20% of the house price. Returns for this varies according to location but generally the return rate is still one of the highest but 2nd to shares.

Internet
There are also stuff you can do over the internet to earn some side income. You can advertise for companies and get paid. You can get paid to blog a certain post. You can also complete surveys and get paid.

Further notes
If you are in Australia, and you are a fraid you might lose money from shares or property, dont be afraid. There are ways to claim the loss back through tax. Haha. I'll explain how to next time.

Happy earning extra money!

=)

Infinity Downline

2010-06-09T09:22:00.006+10:00

What I find funny is scamming has become so modern these days. Anyone heard of Infinity downline? haha.
Well for those who dont, it is an application on facebook where all you have to do is log in and you get $100. And this depends on how many people you get to join you. The more you get, the more money you receive. It is not a new concept, as this has been used for direct sales.

But it is fairly new idea that in this case, you dont get any product for joining to be a member!
So the Basic Idea is when you sign up you pay $100 registration fee. Each member you get to join this "club" will pay $100 membership fee as well in which you get more or less 50% commission in a way. Then the members that your members get...you get commission too...so on and so forth.

But essentially, all that is happening is, you are asking people for money, for nothing. lol. They dont get any product whatsoever. To break it down to a simpler model, All that is happening is that say for example, I am the company. I get you to pay me $100 to join my company...now you have to find people to pay you $100 (2 people) to cover up the cost you just paid. And the other 2 people has to do the same. And it keeps going on and on. What a funny loan shark scheme.

right and wrong

2010-04-08T11:12:00.002+10:00

How do we define what is good and what is bad?
Seriously if things were to be left to me to decide on all things, there are some "gray" areas in life which i would struggle to say if it was good or bad.
Or do we just FEEL if something is right and wrong by depending on the peace of our heart.
Or do we determine if something is right or wrong by the outcome of it?
Or do we define what is right by the "greater good".

HOw do we actually know if something is right or wrong when we humans are corrupted, selfish people, whom none of us can say we are selfless in all aspects.
There will be situations when we tend to be more concern of ourselves than others.
In safety for example. Would we help a stranger...to the point of sacrifing our own life? Most of us would say NO. why? because there is still future ahead of us....more to live in this world...bla bla bla....
Or if its not safety, maybe its work. Who want to work and not get paid? Yes its sacrificial... but would anyone of us raise our hands and say, yes we would do that....for the long term?
In essence, we are all selfish people, to a certain extent, we do think about ourself, our own safety, our own security.
Often times, we want to get saved so that WE would not get into hell. It is to save OURself from harm. Right to our very nature, all we cared for is our own self, how high we can reach, how far we can go, how great we can be, how nice our life would be.
If all of us are selfish people, how then can we decide what is right and wrong since we only look for opportunities to meet our own desires?

I believe in the Word. And in the Word I stand. May nothing else judge me..not by anyone elses standards but only bythe Bible's standards. Search my heart Oh God, As this relationship I have with you is more than just wanting to be in Heaven with you...but because of the relationship that we have esteblished over the years and I look forward to growing deeper with you.I want to know you more, And I know that it is only by YOur word that things are made right from wrong. And it is only By your word, will you judge your people.
Take my hands and make it yours, That I may touch and heal people.
Take my mouth and make it yours, That I may speak life into people.
Take my feet and make it yours, That I may walk anywhere you ask me to.
Take my eyes and make it yours, That I may see the works you are doing in others.
Take my ears and tune it to you, That I may hear you every second of the day.

Noone will make sense of my life...unless they know you
Hold me close..and let your love surround me..

fulfill your prophesy Lord.

2010-03-22T19:31:00.002+11:00

God,

I am beginning to see your prophecies unfolding.
Not to long ago I was wondering how were things to unfold.
Now I begin to understand that it is all in your time.
But Lord, whether or not I will live to see your prophecy fulfilled, I will choose to love you more each day. Whether you continue to whisper in my ear the secrets of your heart, I wil choose to love you more each day.
You have tested me, beyond what I can imagine. And yes I have failed so many times. I begin to know how weak I am without you. That I need you to draw strength from.
Lord work in me, take away the weeds in my heart. I want to be stronger. I want to be better.
I dont want to impress any man. May no one on earth find favour in me except you Lord. May I be despised, put down and tested and still find favour in you. I am here to please no one except you.

Thanks for equipping me with the gifts to equip your saints.Thanks for circumstances that have shapped me to who I am today. I shall not be content with my level of relationship with you. I want to go deeper. I want to know your hearts desire. I want to know the secrets of your heart. I want more of you. Let me prophesy to the nations, and lead them back to you. Teach me while I am in my youth. mould me so that I may not fail you once you put me up there. I want to stumble no one but only to bring glory to your name.

Destroy this house if I have built it on wrong foundation. Build me up again God. Restore me in the fullness of your glory. Give me insight and let me see what you are doing in people's lives. That I may do what the father does.

You have always led me. Up till now, you have always been guiding me and never have I made the wrong turn and never will I want to. Every decision , every step has led me to where I am today. Continue to lead me Lord. So that through your servant, your will may be accomplished.
I live....only to fulfill your will.

Mistakes?

2009-08-17T09:42:00.003+10:00

Unfolding a new chapter of life would not be possible without the speculation of its ending. But what becomes more gratifying is the plot that has lead up to this frame of time. It is nothing new to be looking forward to how life will lead but it is futile if we do not recognize how life has puzzled itself through the many thicks and thins, rough and smooth times to bring about into production of our character in which we are defined today.

The proposition of life having all seemingly insignificant moments of life becomes surprisingly significant in another frame of time. Through all the mishaps, mistakes, misjudgements made, it has but became lessons in which we learned in practicality rather than throratically. They were classrooms without the four walls. Yes they were mistakes, but because something was gleaned from it, there will be no regrets.

Life afterall is a choice.Because of choice, there was room made for mistakes. Because there was room for mistakes, we need a guide. Because we need a guide, we were given the Word. God, the source of wisdom, knew choices can be devastating but yet can be the most phenomenal experience if used wisely.With choice, Adam sinned and with choice, Jesus saved.

And because of choice, we can love. and Love is God.

-Sean

Something to share

2009-07-23T19:43:00.003+10:00

Is there Something you like to share,

Being the one I love, cherish and care,

Day til night I will always be there,

In your suffering I too will bear,

Alone on my knees I often ask God,

Not knowing He knew what I sought,

Every night I prayed to the Lord,

Release thy blessings through thy sword

Ask and you shall receive He said,

I took His word and boldly prayed,

Send me someone from heaven today,

Apart from everything Lord have your way,

Thank You God for answering my prayer that day.

Beautiful Soul

2009-06-22T14:21:00.000+10:00

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

Your beautiful soul, yeah
You might need time to think it over
But im just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry c`mon lets try

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

Am I crazy for wanting you
Baby do you think you could want me too
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do
I just wanna know if you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

You beautiful soul, yeah.

From the album Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney.

Cast my burdens...

2009-06-11T00:47:00.002+10:00

my exam is next week and I barely know anything. I dont have time. No wait I have time but too many things are going on at the same time. This time im really being pushed to my max. Ive got to get a house within this week, get electricity, internet, gas, water, have to clean the house,. Yet, my exam is next week, and on top of that, all these silly things happening around me. Im tired, but i cant take a break. My exams in a few more days...4 days to be exact. Know nuts about it.

God help me. I need to balance all of these that is happening around me. God you hold everything together. You said in Your word that the whole creation is held together by your power. In you all things exist, and because of You all things exist. Situation may be tough mentally, physically and emotionally but I know that through my weakness, I will know Your strength. Help me to focus on my exams and give me understanding on the things I read. Grant me my picture memory again so I wont have to keep reading the same thing over and over again to memorize it. Whatever the results will be, may everyone know that it was not my works but Your handiwork that was working.

.

2009-06-10T19:10:00.001+10:00

dissapointed

Time

2009-06-04T16:27:00.002+10:00

Time...it needs it to build and yet because of it destroys. Careful steps taken yet, got too tangled up. Who am I doing it for...Why am I doing it? I had the right focus but somehow it strayed as suddenly I begin to think I could have gotten more. Emotionally tangled. But I am getting there..
rethink..refocus... forget what I could have...cuz I know He prepares the best and I wouldnt settle for second best. Every step I have taken thus far was all led by Him. I realize how far it has strayed without Him as my focus.
God, take away my distractions. bring me to your solitary place again. Too many pending decisions and I cant decide without your guidance as I will always make wrong decisions without your consultation. Relinquish me from my own captivity and bring me to another level of dependance on you.

13th June nearing and its gonna be time to do some car shopping. By now, after nearly 21 yrs I think I know what cars I dont want. Dont think Im sure I know what car I want yet.lol.... God, are you finished with my car yet? when will it be ready?lol..everything is about time isnt it.

Time...it needs it to build and yet because of it destroys.

I know

2009-05-10T00:50:00.003+10:00

I know whats happening.

I know what happened.I know but I pretend not to know. Or do I really know? I am certain...very certain ....or am I? Even if it is so, why then does it feel this way? Why then does it have to be this way. Why do I have to see things and pick up suttle clues. Why do I have to know. Why.

I know what you did.

Maybe it was better not knowing.better living in self denial.Would time be proportonal to the actions we do like what einstein said? If so, let me move faster, let me run like the wind and skip this part of life.

Or maybe, just maybe Ive been brought to this situation again and again and yet I run. the easy way out. Do I stick up to it this time. Is it worth sticking up to it. Maybe, just ....just maybe its time I did something different.

Open your eyes.

What do I do now. I cant wait. I cant rush. I cant run. I cant endure. Or maybe I can but I choose not to. Why cant you see..

Look at me

Why? Why not. Maybe its the things I do. The commitment ive placed. I hope you see it the way I see it.

Im beginnning to like my car. Not gonna look for a new one.

I want to keep my old car.Its not for sale.No test driving without me knowing. No, let me rephrase that ; No test-drive. period.

Getting a car?

2009-02-22T00:44:00.003+11:00

It came in with a polished surface. Beautiful on the exterior with a metalic shine on it to top it off. But the car just wouldnt start. The engine dies every few minutes. The wipers wouldnt move. The seats in the car were not that bad, but it obviously needed a little cleaning.

So i started cleaning it, vacuming the seats, fixing the wipers, changed the battery. It took me hours to have it all done. Alas it was clean interiorly. With a sigh of relief, i sat in the front seat of the car, wiping the sweat off my brow. Slided the seatbelt across my chest, placed on feet firmly on the clutch and one on the accelerator.after making sure it is on free gear, I turned the ignition key on.The roaring of the engine was music to my ears...then suddenly it died. I tried again...and it died 2 mins later.

Then I began to realize how insignificant all my hard work had been. I tried cleaning up the interior, fixing what I could fix but the car still needed to stay alive on its own. The engine needed to run...and nothing I can do will keep it running. The most I can do is to start the engine, after that it is the engine that has to choose to continue what I started.

I cant hold on longer. I cant always be the one holding things together. Limitation is reality. As much as I try to bring the best out of it, I can only do so much. The rest..its up to it. I thought a nice exterior would be nice as a car to show off to others. But what is the use of it if it cant run on its own? Whats the use of it if I have to keep starting the engine over and over again just to keep it running?

Do I want to keep this car? I dont know. Or should I start shopping for a better one. I dont know. Is there a car thats good on the exterior,interior, good smooth engine ...and cheap?ahha..not that I cant afford but low maintainence is always an advantage...no?

I think thats why I will always be without a car and would always be walking alone...lol.

Orbituary

2009-01-23T11:37:00.004+11:00

*cited from The Star paper on the 21st of Jan.*

For the man who had nothing...and defied all odds and circumstances to have made something out of nothing ...through hard work..

and now..

is remembered as the man who left behind a legacy of succesful children and gandchildren...

We...are.... his legacy...

Trust

2009-01-11T22:02:00.002+11:00

This predicament is nothing cryptic.Gone through it a million times and yet still awaiting for a definitive answer. It is as though a moment of frisson was stucked somewhere in the lower lobe of my lung, The sensation of it leaping out yet with strain and agony I hold it back within, supressing it down. For what reason, I do not know. Maybe I'm afraid.Dauntedly apprehensive of what it might become.

One thing comes to mind. Trust.

Suspiciously a childish term used to encourage oneself in times of dilemma. Choices certainly do get bigger as we grow older. Trouble is not only are the choices necessary but the thought of living through the consequences of it for the rest of my life is horrifying.

Yet, Trust.

But what do I trust in?Trust doesnt give me an answer on which to choose? Trust doesnt show me how to choose them. Trust doesnt answer any of my questions!!

But still the word flashes in mind, Trust.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding"

Bye 2008

2009-01-01T20:54:00.002+11:00

The young and futile mind would revolve around materialism, money and popularity. Why? Have we ever wondered why? Have we ever considered or thought of why do we want so badly for people around to notice us? Why do we care about what people might think of us? Everyone, unless you live in your own denial, does to a certain extend care about what others may think of them, hence the dressing, the character, the outlook appearance.

But having achieved all these by the age of 20(too a certain extend that is), helps me cherish this Christmas all the more. I realize that this Christmas, I wasnt looking forward to gifts or presents but more so I looked forward to cards and wishes and company. I diddnt need people to buy me things, I could buy them on my own. I didnt need more money, I have more than what I need. I diddnt need to be more popular, I have a wide enough circle of friends. But one thing I cherished most this Christmas, were words of encouragement, Christmas cards written, letters, sms, e-mails. Those are the stuff I cant buy with my own money, those are the things earned from every drop of sweat this year.And some come undeservingly.

I realize the gift I had this year was not something that was tangible but rather a character that would last a long time...

Thanks 2008.

Decisions

2008-12-31T11:16:00.007+11:00

The altercation in the mind is only but a silent killer that awakes from the inside and would well be hidden through the phase of life. It goes about unnoticed, subtle yet real. Often leading to despondency , oblivious to what had been the cause of it. Sufficiency of reason depletes as the altercation grows louder and louder and a cry from the inside screams out for peace ..in the mind. The birth of indecisiveness and irrationality soon becomes apparent. Adversary of oneself becomes the toughest challenge in life. Decisions ,no doubt chooses the journey and the pathway of life.

Decisions is always a constant struggle. Dilemma was becoming more of a friend. But as the sequential movements of events in what we measure as 'time' soon passes, and the facets of life scrutinized from hindsight, It becomes more obvious of the fact that choices and decisions made are in no relation to age but relates directly to the maturity of a person. The scale of decision making suddenly becomes subjective to the individual . It becomes like a thumbprint that everyone would have a different character, a different anxiety, a different goal, a different motive to every decision making. Although the decision might somewhat similar to another person, but if circumstances ,sequence of events and emotions were taken into consideration, it is a whole new, different decision altogether.

If this is true, then is it not also true that no one would be able to FULLY comprehend what another is going through?Maybe it is possible to a certain extend , but to take everything else into consideration, the greatest degree of understanding would never be achievable by a mere human being. The life gone through is a masterpiece itself.

Who then do we turn to?Who then do we seek?

Maybe, just maybe...thats why we need God.

Thats just me, but most importantly what do you think?

You are near

2008-12-17T19:06:00.006+11:00

Ok its time to unleash the song i composed more than a year ago

It was composed on 30th November 2007. Its still in my old blog post.=)

If you guys want to have a look at the old post CLICK HERE

Let me know what you guys think =)

You can stream it from here

Or download it from the link below

You are near.mp3

Christmas carol UPdated version

2008-12-14T10:50:00.005+11:00

A Christmas present for all of u,

unedited,fresh, no digital effects,

just a lousy laptop mic, a guitar and me =)

*UPDATED VERSION -10.40am 17/12/08*

You can stream it from here

Or download it (clearer) from the link below

O Holy night.mp3

The profiler

2008-11-25T22:41:00.003+11:00

The art of studying a person's character, the movements, response, eye contact , posture ,speech and most importantly change in character provides enough information to depict one's character, one's lifestyle, one's weakness, one's strength. It is a personality test , not of verbal or written response in honesty but of unconscious actions.

The more observation time given, the more history there would be to leak out along the way. Picture paints a thousand words, what more if it is live in action. The mistake or rather the weakness of this art is that too much assumption is done on the character of who they will be in the future or potentially be. Mind would start to turn potentiality into something that is certain which is dangerous as we give no room for change.

This gift was further developed through the game of chess. As prediction of opponents move could be done 8 moves ahead of the opponents mind. Which means, nothing the opponent can do would surprise me in the next 16 steps as I have already seen it coming.

Guess now it has become apart of me, to discern, predict and anticipate movements and actions of others. The sad part = rarely am I surprised. Why is it sad? surprise is a part of life.

The setback of possessing this ability is that sometimes weakness of another is magnified over strength as more concern is being put in that area. This way, Ill never get to meet my Miss perfect . hahahah. God, 7 more months and I would have faithfully completed my deal =).

WOw..its october!!!

2008-10-21T23:13:00.003+11:00

Wow...its october already.

Man...what a journey this year has been.

I dare to stand here and say there is no one in my circle people that I know am going through the stuff I go through. And I boast about it because now I know what it is like to fully rely on God's strength and not my own. I learnt it not because I was willing to but more of me being put in a situation where all my strength has been drained and I have no other source to depend on. You know how we have so much head knowledge about God, Im telling ya that it is nothing until you have experienced it.

Lets start with my job.I work at least 25 hours a week on a uni day and 45-50 hours a week on a holiday. You see, if people were to just have a job with that amount of hours, they would be tired by the end of the day.

Then comes church. Well we're pioneering a church so were pretty much heavily involved in building up the church.Lets see... monday night bible study, weds night prayer meeting, friday night youth, Sunday Service. I guess my focus has been the music ministry and leading the youth group to a greater dimension.

Then there is studies. Well to be frank, I dont have time for studies.not that im lazy, but I really dont! ahha . Exam is tomorrow, I just started studying yesterday. ahah!

Well so to summarize my time,

Monday - (9-6pm) uni and work. (8-10pm) bible study

Tuesday - (9-6pm) uni and work. (7-10pm) giving tuition

Wednesday - (9-6pm) uni and work. (8-10pm) prayer meeting

Thursday - (9-6pm) uni and work. (rest of the day) planning for youth.practice for worship

Friday - (9-6pm) uni and work. (7-10pm) Pick people up for Youth, and have youth after.

Saturday -( 9-5pm) Work. (rest of the day) practice for Sunday worship.

Sunday - (3-5pm) Setup hall for service (5-7pm) Service

I told God, "I really need your strength as I am not doing this for myself but all this, literally all of this is for you. I am going to give you my all and I know you will take care of my studies for me.Ive been doing it all this while, but this time the test is even greater and I am fully dependent on you for strength and wisdom.By Human strength I might survive for one month with this schedule, but for the rest of the year...I need you."

And before I know it ....Its october now!!! ANd you know what, I am not tired but I feel that I have alot more left in me. and everything has been working great ever since.

I got a promotion in the job, my credibility and influence has increased. Church has been growing ever since especially with the youth doubling every couple of months. Studies wise, I thank God for the results he gave me for semester one...couldnt be happier. For this semester...I still have to rely on Him, but I know He will not fail me as long as I keep my focus on Him.

Fathers Day

2008-09-03T10:58:00.004+10:00

I found that amusing..ahha

Something i realized.... if i fall sick and dont work out for7 days in a row, my abs would just disappear!! Its Amazing at how long u take for it to get there...and how fast it could just disappear. It is not as permanent as Biceps. biceps stay there regardless. lol

Father's day is approaching.... Wonder how it feels like to be a father watching your own child grow. Wonder how it feels like to see your own child fail/succeed in life. Wonder how much it would hurt a father to see his child humbled by life. Wonder how much more pressure a father would feel to have his child do well in their studies.Wonder how it would feel like if your child does not return home from scholl and theres no way of cantacting him/her. Wonder what it feels like to nurture your own child your whole life and let him/her go approaching adulthood. Wonder what it feels like to be a dad.....

Do i blame dad's for nagging,disciplining and putting pressure on kids? I dont think I will. As much as I hate it as a child, I would probably end up doing the same thing. I guess as a child you wouldnt understand how a dad would feel until you become one.

May all dad's have a blessed fathers day this Sunday! =)

Happy Fathers day!(in advance)

2008-08-23T19:32:00.003+10:00

Wednesday..

I have a 1500 word essay due on fri. I havent started on it.I thought to myself maybe I'll skip uni on thursday to do the essay.Besides that, I was feeling great.Was looking forward to all-you-can-eat-sushi on thurs nite with 4 gals...ahem...well my work colleaugues ahem.Wonder y we're not employing any guys at my shop. ahah. I shared during prayer meeting and challenged the adults to be a support to the youth and how nurturing their passion for God is important. NIght ended well, but i was beginning to feel sick. I was starting to shiver....

Thursday...

One more day for my assignment to be handed in. Havent started on it. Diddnt get enough sleep. Was tossing and turning through the night. Head felt like it was gonna burst.Was shivering through the night.Woke up to find myself down with fever. Neck was strained. Each time i cough it just added a sudden motion jerk that sends a signal to my brain nerves to strain. It was excruciating. I was fighting the battle that only exhausted myself. by 7am with my eyes still open, grimacing in pain, I called my dad in to pray for me.that was sweet i thought. havent had that happen in a long time. I went to the doctor to get the MC. Doctor gave me two days of MC. now I have an excuse to hand in my assignment late? I missed out on the sushi thingy btw. I was in agony. By 7pm, I still had not consume anything besdes panadols. I had no appetite for water or food. And I was vomitting. It was getting worse.

Friday....

I slept outside in the living hall this time. Slept sitting up. Couldnt lie down as i felt the urge to puke each time i was lying down.I woke up feeling fresh. no more fever. Slight headahe but i can deal with that. I just need more rest. Assignment is due. I e-mailed the lecturer to let her know my situation.I was still coughing but I can deal with it. Its not excruciating, its just irritating.Also prepared the songs for Sunday as I'm worship leading. Changed the chords with steph's help and type it up and e-mailed out.At about 1-3am was watching "ah long"...LOVED IT.. with hannah, steph and veryn. *Steph was snoring half the time...haha jk*

Saturday....

Recovering...but not fully recovered. Diddnt go for youthalive concert in an attempt to recover properly.I want to give my best to God on Sunday. Lecturer just e-mailed back granting me an extension to until Monday wishing me the best in my recovery =) . Currently starting on my assignment.

Sunday..

is gonna be a blast. Last week was a fun night with the launch of our new church. This week, this week, we're taking it another level higher. God, as I am weak in body now, empower and strengthen me so that you may be glorified above all else.

Update!!!

2008-08-18T00:27:00.002+10:00

OK if u guys are wondering how hannah and steph are doing..... i think these pic explains it all!!!

ahah....more pics were taken but some needs to be censored....LOL

this was after the launching of the new church..woot!

CHANGE

2008-07-22T22:46:00.005+10:00

Everything is different, everything is changing.

Church.I used to observe but now Im more involved than ever.wednesdays fridays and sundays. Guitaring,worship leading, backup singing, sharing, planning.I want to do more! but what? I dont want to burnout nor do i want to maintain the fire.I want to burn bigger and brighter

Studies. I used to excell but now im struggling to be at the top. im nowhere near the top. I need help. I need time to study. I need the mood to study. I thought i was good until i found myself in a class of melbourne nerds.

Work. I used to enjoy my work with my colleagues but now everyone has left and now its a new set of people.everyones new.I cant fit in. I force myself to work. Everyone(esp the new manager) is dependant on me for the performance of the store. I like it but i Dont. I want to concentrate on my studies.

Hold me close,

Let your love surrounds me,

bring me near,

draw me to your side,

as i wait,

ill rise up like a eagle,

and i will soar with you,

your spirit leads me on,

by the power of your love.

My account of my birthday....

2008-06-14T01:32:00.004+10:00

SO my 1st birthday wish started 30 minutes before the clock striked 12. She called and it was cool catching up on the long lost years that we've been apart.SHe has her life now...i have mine .Although we are living in two different countries , it still fails to change the care-free chat that we would always have.to chat just about anything...everything. It was great, refreshing and certainly assuring that there are still people around who still have my back.

By 12am, the influx of sms came in with the constant beeping of my phone while i was still on the phone. Even after I got off the phone at half past 12 the messages were ruining my sleep...up till 2am.Do i mind? no...Its nice to be loved...to feel loved..... thanks every one.....disturb me anytime you want.....anytime!

I awoke the next day, did my usual routines and headed off to berwick to pick her up. It was raining. I thankedGod for cooling down my day and I told God thats about enough...I think I need sunshine now =). And so ...sunshine it was! Upon reaching my destination, there it was ...God's gift....A perfectly semicircle rainbow majestically arrayed in the sky. I looked up to the heavens and said "so that was what the early rain was for? thanks for going through so much trouble God...I really appreciate it....Its a birthday gift Man can never make...but only God can."
Thank you God, for making me feel special today.

We then had a movie and dinner after.I was spoilt.really.For the first time, I diddnt come out a cent. yes, my first time. THANKS.

then people started calling in wiching happy birthday....ahhhaha its great to feel special even if it is for one day.I guss if you get this everyday...you wouldnt feel special anymore.

then it was night....i had my youth meeting on.It was awesome...fantastic.... The atmosphere was great. I had candles, cake....and a birthday song. I had hugs...and lotsa love. Youth has been a very encouraging source and is certainly playing a big role in my growth and walk with God.

We started at 8, and ended at 12. No one wanted to leave....it was just great company and I miss them already. Now we have 15 and should be hitting 20 by july or august. God will provide.
God, I pray that you can be real to them as you are so real to me.Make them feel special just like you have always done to me. LEt your favour be so evident upon their lives that theres only one person to point the glory back which is to you oh God. LOve you.

*P.s not forgeting those who came on msn and also those who left their wishes via e-mail, facebook friendster and also those who called me up at various times through the day....THANKS HEAPS!*

Just for you God

2008-06-09T21:37:00.002+10:00

The more i look at it, the more frustrated i AM. Give me patience God. Teach me to love because out of my will, I cant. The more frustrated I am .....the more I am at the verge of giving up. At that very edge, I lose all hope, I lose all strength.....I began to take a second look. The more I look at it, the more similarities I see in me.

I see me in it. Thank you God for opening my eyes to see things that I would never have known if it wasnt for this.Break it Lord, I strive for perfection, perfection in character because I want to be the best for you.Show me more O lord.

TEach me forgiveness and teach me rebuke at the same time. Neither strong on one nor weak on another. Teach me joyfullness and compassion.Teach me dependability and independence.Teach me Patience and courage. Teach me contentment and diligence. Never let one be stronger than another.

All I want....and all I ever need from you is for you to look down smilin and say "well done son."
Ill make you a proud father.

JAP FOOOD

2008-05-29T22:13:00.003+10:00

We had an all you can eat JAp food!!!!! wahahaha like seriously all-you can eat....... and it was jap. haha well im back and working agan. Introducing my team at Clayton...

From left: Jon, me , siew , fay

The cup

2008-05-28T23:45:00.002+10:00

I gazed thoughtfully at my cup. It was big, glossy on the outside with artistic streaks of lines lined randomly. It was a nice cup, In fact it caught my attention as I walked in the store. I held the cup in my hands, unsure if I should put it back on the shelf. Should I do my shopping 1st and come back later for the cup? Maybe I'll find something better than this....

I inspected the cup thoroughly. It had the potential to hold large amounts of liquids. It was larger at the top in contrast to the base of the cup.It wasnt very stable. But then I ask myself why do i need a new cup? Do i really need it? It looked good on the outside but on the inside...there were stains. Has someone used itbefore? BUt it looked good....maybe I could just buy it and wash it up later. Are the stains permanent? Or can they be removed?

Should I just take the cup and attempt to wash it up? What if the stains dont go? will I still keep it?Will I look for another cup or do I just keep washing it in hope that one day the stain will go.The more i thought about it the longer i was holding the cup. The longer i held the cup, the more people thought it was mine.Should I just put it back and find something cleaner to save me the trouble of washing? Or was I being too fussy?

what do I do?

Life as a game of chess

2008-05-20T10:29:00.004+10:00

I remember being naive of the pieces i was moving across the board. I moved each piece in sequence of what i thought should be the right move.I never thought more about it. Each move i made were just a mere understanding of which direction it is capable of moving.

Then i moved on and realise that there was more to it.I could actually win this thing. I had an idea in my head and I carelessly moved the pieces awaiting the glorious moment of saying "checkmate" and looking at the opponent staring blankly at the board.Of course there were times when i would be at the oter end of it sighing my way out of my seat.

As i progressed further, I got better at it. I could now anticipate not 2 not 3 not 4...but 12 moves ahead.That was at the very pinicle of my game. Not only could I anticipate but I could move pieces suttly enough to beat the very best at their game. My game could not be anticipated.why? its unorthodoxed. Making them play they way I want them to play, an unfamiliar territory is where they are most vulnerable at. Making them unsecure with an unfamiliar game play, its impossible to predict the next move.Before you know it, the pieces are restricted and have limited movement while i bask in the vastness of mobility.

Then slowly the game shows up, the plan surfaces. ideas 12 moves before were now in placed and going for another 12 moves ahead. They see it but its too late to do anything about it now.

Life unknowingly is awfully similar to the game of chess. Every move represents a decision. Sometimes a sacrifice is required to achieve a higher goal.Sometimes we make decisions based on anticipation of what the consequences would be and sometimes based on a gut feeling. Its a matter of weather you let life control you, or let life be at your control.Break free from setreotypical ways of playing the game and go unorthodox. Why let life decide for you when you can decide for it? The timers been hit and its your move!

Take me away

2008-04-22T22:33:00.002+10:00

Take me far far away,
to the place they always say,
oh do take me there today,
please PLease make a way,

Im tired, im exhausted ,
more than that im frustrated,
but God youre always there,
to remind me that you care,

thanks for the stars once again,
thanks for moon to light my lane,
thanks for the opportunity to serve,
thanks for your guidance above,

Youre always there beside me,
through rough seas you carry me,
Amazing how youre always there for me,
I love you as much as you love me. =)

busybusybusy

2008-04-20T21:11:00.004+10:00

it was a busy busy week. Thought i had enough of work and studies(and dates) to juggle with....now with steph down here, haha i have to sueeze abit of time for her =p.

Well it was worth it.AT least i had an excuse to go out. If it wasnt for her, my feet would be cemented to my room floor doing assignments. Well, now im still in a rush to complete it but hey, i found time to have fun ~! =)

busy busy busy, everyone who is aware of my weekly schedule will kow what im talking about.

uni is 5 days a week 9-6 with breaks in between

i squeeze bout 30 hours of work a week

the remaining hours i have is basically for dinner and also my sleeping time.

if im lucky, i'll get 3-4 hours a week to do my homework.

surprisingly i managed to squeeze 6 hours this week for luxury purposes at the expense of my homework hours. But it was worth it.(at least i hope it is until i get my results lol)

Cheers

things got better..or did it?

2008-04-08T21:10:00.002+10:00

Well...i dont know if this is a good thing....
I just got an assistant manager post...which means my salary will change...
but...theres a catch to it. i have to work 20 hrs a week.

well i can do that but hey, its gonna be full on work + study everyday from 9-6pm from now.
is that worth it? i hope...

i need strength to carry on....
when im weak..u make me strong.

MArch!!

2008-04-06T08:55:00.005+10:00

March was just an extraordinary month for me...

I received...

50 dollars voucher - highest sales
50 dollars voucher - rated extraordinary by a mystery shopper
20 dollars + 10 dollars voucher - highest sales in one day ( thanks nikki )

Its funny cuz i dont talk much back in malaysia...and over here i talk too much..haha
who wouldve thought of sean doing sales seriously.... haha

maybe this could be my permanent job and i shld just quit radiography...ahahha

anyway...evrything is just running so smoothly..~! woooooo

God is great!

2008-04-04T20:38:00.004+11:00

wow....what a weeek!!

managing a shop is fun....well, at least its something different for a change..
there's always something new to learn, hence it kills the mundane routine of my job.

something that would be a surprise to some of u ......ive 10 dollars left out of the 190 dollars worth of credit i had....and its 2 more weeks before the billing cycle rolls over. i think i need a higher cap lol.....or the skype phone! i need that freee 4000 minutes a month.

gosh...im bringing my job everywhere i go! enough sean...enough!

well today was funny....we were in the anatomy lab where there were bags of dead ppl....and some parts that were cut up were laying on the table. well....while i was carrying a limb from one place to another....i spilled some fluid that was in the tray holding the limb onto this other girl...ahha.... !!!

well im currently balancing my studies....my job and the newly pioneered church....
considering my studies is 5 days a week....and my job is during my breaks.....thats a full day from monday to saturday for me.... i still hv to slot in church into saturday and sunday....and somehow i still manage to slot in dates in bewteen some weekdays. Im just exhausted...i nee a break..but i wont get it... when uni break starts....my clicnical placement starts....so basically...i have no breaks this year....go sean! u'll make it thru somehow.....

other than that....it has been great.... u noe those times when u go thru the downs of life....there is always a time when it goes up again and u reap the rewards for it? well theres that time now.... but i know tests and struggles would be coming my way again and I dont wanna be to contented in this environment and not be on my guard for the tough times ahead. whatever the situation is, nothing ever changes the fact that God is great and is greatly to be praised!

Homeless guy

2008-03-23T21:24:00.003+11:00

today was probably one of the most fulfilling day i have ever had...

Mel and I left the planet shakers church to talk to this homeless guy by the road side...we ended up talking for 2 hours. Ive learned so much from him. How life can be so simple and yet we complicate it.

We offered to bring him out for lunch but he diddnt want to. SO we just sat at the stairs and had our chat there. Lovely guy!

We learn about how life has taken his toll on him...how he got into drugs. We talked about his family...his life...his perspective of life....

He is a wise guy i must say...He is very knowledgable... He talks about the way different organisations run in the city. The way they help homeless people etc. How pointless some of them are and how he enjoys different kinds of approach...

Sitting down and having a chat with him was probably one of the most meaning ful times ive had.If ever any1 drops by the old abandoned salvation army building...near parliament station...there is a guy there by the stairs under a tree...his name is Darren... say hi for me. He's a lovely guy to talk to!

We diddnt bring him to church but we brought the church to him =).

God is great!

randomzz

2008-03-23T01:00:00.002+11:00

ok i woke up in the morning.....with my blinds still shut. turned on the computer and adjusted my laptop camera. This was how it was before... And this is how it is after..... yes i look tired. Thanks to nikki who woke me up...lol
anyway....this is a random post... and my laptop's webcam is working....so any1 wanna play some webcam? lol

randomness...imoff

update

2008-03-13T22:17:00.003+11:00

well im starting to be myself more these days. yeap~!
im starting to skip lectures~! wooo~!

thats more like it...back to old school.....skipping classes and all...
aaah....that just makes me miss the good old times...

i remembered how we used to run though the forest and come out on the other side of school ...
walk down the hill to the taxi stand and take a taxi off to the shopping centres.
hoping the principal or security guard would not spot us.
well that explains my exceleent record of attence...whch ws 50% i think =)

that was then..

now , no chains bound, i can just skip lectures when i feel like it. awesome.
no more running in bushes and getting caught in spider webs...

well todays tutorial was fun..
we learned how to convince someone to take off their clothes...haha
not only that....we learned how to make sure that all clothes are taken off the patient....
i think i chose the right course =)
haha jk................. NOT

ayways....im lovin this course ....

placing the pieces

2008-03-09T21:04:00.005+11:00

It starts now. finally....

the red light went off and the green light shone. not the brightest, but still visible.

finally, all the preperation made sense. finally the pieces of the puzzle for the last 10 years could be seen being put together.each placed nicely forming a picture.

the picture is not complete, but at least i can see where it is heading now.

some parts im uncertain but at least part of the picture is fixed, i know what pieces to put alongside it now....

now take me from here, to the place where I am destined to be. Let me exceed your expectations God.Let me fulfill the destiny that was coded in me before i was brought to this world. Let me grabhold of it and not be shaken by circumstances.Through you will I achieve the impossible. Through you, this earth will change.

I dream BIG....because my GOD is BIG!

help

2008-03-05T22:53:00.003+11:00

I am EXHAUSTED.
my scheduelle could not be any worse than this.
monday 9-4
tuesday 9-2
wednesday 9-6
thursday 9-6
friday 9-4

erm hello? its uni~! isnt it suppose to be relaxing while having less contact hours at the same time?
funny how i chose this course thinking it would be the easiest course in the world having just to push a button to take an x-ray and poof u get money for it..haha

now i realize how wrong i was. well i took my 1st x-ray today. that was pretty easy. wonder why they made life so difficult by expecting us to learn
how to make x-rays
how x-rays work,
knowing every bone , joint and muscles in our body
interpreting x-rays
learning about the chemicals in our body.

basically from what im learning, i could basically build a ct scan or an x-ray machine when i finish this course. not forgetting becoming a doctor and a physiologist at the same time. I always get the hard subjects dont i.

well on the good side of it, there's double the amount of girls in comparison to the boys in my class =p. well the term "girls" and "boys" is pretty naive considering the fact we have some adults in our class.

i need space. i need time to breathe. 2nd week and im already struggling. Im not struggling to keep up, im just struggling to find time to breathe

im burnt out.help.

Women

2008-03-02T22:15:00.004+11:00

how was my wedding? well...sorry chez...there wasnt any of my "type" there. speaking of my "type", i have only met two of them while working as a sales representative. well there was one girl who was younger than me by a year... how do i know their age? well i love my job. ahha in my line of work, i get to know everything about them...from birthdates to bank accounts and credit cards ...to whether they are single,available,married or having a partner. hahaha!

well this chick that was younger than me...but she was married. dang~!

oh wells life goes on~! ahaha.

while im still single, im enjoying my freedom.....yet something in me longs for something more. I dont think im ready, but I want to be ready.haha yet I want to be single. I enjoy playing this tug of war within me. I am aware of my confusion or am I confused of my awareness. ahah

God, please bring her in a box at my door step. It will make life so much easier.haha

maybe a label saying

To: Sean

Hope you enjoy this gift

From : God

That would be nice.And probably make my life much much easier.haha

NOt forgetting a warning sticker attached to the box saying :

enjoy

2008-02-14T23:48:00.002+11:00

I feel...incomplete. ahha !
its great having two managers fighting over me. and i feel priveledged having the area manager to get involve to solve the problem between the two managers. hahah
putting all the fuss aside, its valentines day...and i feel incomplete somehow.haha hopefully this feeling will leave soon, i wanna be single for awhile...help me. lol~!
till then, im enjoying work more than ever.its my field in getting to know more people.

wait

2008-02-10T23:27:00.000+11:00

Is it right to take something that is not mine yet ,..but destined to be mine in the future? Should I just sit and wait for it to fall into my arms or should I just grab it now. WHat is God's will? yes, I shall wait.

take me

2008-02-08T17:46:00.001+11:00

how do you change something that cannot be changed.

1 corinthians 5:6-7
6Your boasting is not good. Don't you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough? 7Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeast—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed

but God, how do we get rid of them if they are the ones getting rid of us?What if the yeast is in control and the new dough just gets contaminated by stepping in?do we fight a never ending battle?Do we have the strength to carry on? is anyone tired of it? i am.

BUt yet in such situations you taught me patience and self control.you taught me courage.If there is one more thing that i ask, teach me love. Let me love.

another prophecy you gave me is coming to pass...it took a year for this to happen.am i happy ? no. i had always hoped that prophecy was a mistake.but i wrote it down anyways.now i see..you knew the end from the beginning.you, you are God and may you reign forever. This will not take my sight off you, but lead me lord into your arms.It is where i find comfort and warmth like no other.

takeme,hold me.

i see

2008-02-05T22:25:00.000+11:00

I see a tree with roots..rooted deep into the ground.but the soil is not nourished.the land is dead. the leaves that sprouted green soon became brown and in time, it withered to the ground.

This has to happen.I see where its going and I see wats coming.Its going to be sad but I see a glimmer of light at the end.I see hope. I know whats about to happen and I see how its going to begin.It doesnt end here. Now, now its the start.Finally the truth is out, but will we be brave enough to step up to it? or is our age going to limit us? how do we fight against people who can shut you down with a blink. What do we do?God lead us.

Numbers 14 :10-23

But the whole assembly talked about stoning them. Then the glory of the LORD appeared at the Tent of Meeting to all the Israelites. 11 The LORD said to Moses, "How long will these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the miraculous signs I have performed among them? 12 I will strike them down with a plague and destroy them, but I will make you into a nation greater and stronger than they."
13 Moses said to the LORD, "Then the Egyptians will hear about it! By your power you brought these people up from among them. 14 And they will tell the inhabitants of this land about it. They have already heard that you, O LORD, are with these people and that you, O LORD, have been seen face to face, that your cloud stays over them, and that you go before them in a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. 15 If you put these people to death all at one time, the nations who have heard this report about you will say, 16 'The LORD was not able to bring these people into the land he promised them on oath; so he slaughtered them in the desert.'
17 "Now may the Lord's strength be displayed, just as you have declared: 18 'The LORD is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation.' 19 In accordance with your great love, forgive the sin of these people, just as you have pardoned them from the time they left Egypt until now."
20 The LORD replied, "I have forgiven them, as you asked. 21 Nevertheless, as surely as I live and as surely as the glory of the LORD fills the whole earth, 22 not one of the men who saw my glory and the miraculous signs I performed in Egypt and in the desert but who disobeyed me and tested me ten times- 23 not one of them will ever see the land I promised on oath to their forefathers. No one who has treated me with contempt will ever see it.

Because of their murmuring,even Moses could not witness the promise that God had promised to them being fulfilled.It was the next generation that God was pleased with.It was the next generation that promises were fulfilled. but first something has to happen.death.

Is there another way around it? Let me out, let me loose.I need not contain all this anymore.
guide me.

God, is it time yet? I am ready now.Let me out of this shell, I wanna be who you called me to be. Tell me its time, give me the opportunity, dont let me miss it. I need you.

Choices ...

2008-01-28T22:15:00.000+11:00

Whats the lay down? It all started back when I was 9..i had PTS. It was an exam to see if youre smart enough to jump a year level. Was it pressurizing?no. I diddnt care.

Then UPSR came along.I was 12.I felt the heat....only a bit. I wanted a good high school. I applied for English College and i got in. I was glad that they accepted my results.

Then PMR came when I turned 15. This was the exam that could determine if i qualified for the science stream. I felt the pressure and for the 1st time, I studied(last 3 months b4 exam). I got into science stream and what did I do after that? laze around.

SPM arrived sooner than I thought.I was17.This could determine...nothing actually. Weather I did well or not, I was going to Australia. I sat back and relax.

2 years after that it was VCE.19 yrs old at this point. I realised how important this was.It would determine my future...literally.I was pressured. And for the 2nd time in my life...I studied(whole year of 2007). It was intense.I diddnt know what course to do because the course would ultimately determine my future career. 1st hurdle was to pick a course...2nd hurdle was to qualify for it. In the end I got it.

So i am on the road now.am I happy?yes and no. Now i am wondering what to do after my Bachelor. Should i go masters or take up medicine. From a million paths that were laid before me before VCE...now it is narrowed down to two.I see a split road at the end of my 4 year bachelor degree.At least now its 2 choices but it is still hard to make.

option 1 : stick to my bachelor degree and be content with it. Starting pay = $35 per hour. which works out to be about $75 000 a year

option 2 : taking up masters and doing ultrasound.Part time course, 3 years. Ends up being a sonographer. starting pay $50-60 per hour. Work out to be about $120 000 per year

option 3 : taking up bachelor of medicine. full time course, 4 years.Ends up becoming a radiologists. Pay = i have no idea. Some say 200 000, some say 300 000 , some say half a million per year. Actual amount? clueless.

what this gives me? headache. and i have not even started my course.Am i thinking too far?yes. Am i worried?no. Am i confused?yes. Currently leaning to just do masters.Unless and until I find out the actual amount of a radiologists salary, I will lean towards masters.

What this tells me? There will always be choices in life.But it is up to you to make that choice available for you.Does choices get easier?no.Does it get tougher?no. Choices varies.

Li Yen

2008-01-23T10:00:00.000+11:00

Li Yen

Together with his sister, sing rhu I knew him at a very very young age.
One of my closest friends in church and never regretted it.

We had a "gang" back in lower primary school...it was me , you and Benjamin ..ahah
played alot and had heaps of fun.We were in the children's choir, we did children's church plays, we hated fong yee and we were young..ahahah

but soon years passed and as expected, everything changes.

what can I say about you? friendly, smart and really hard working. Be confident of yourself because you can achieve things that people cant.you can reach higher because you are capable of it. you can play and also study at the same time and still produce excellent results.Your determination to do well is outstanding.

But do not let your success distance you from God. by your own effort, you only can achieve so much ,but with God, there is so much more. Know that circumstances can change in an instant but God is the same yesterday today and forever.

Hopefully we will meet again sometime soon..
All the best~!

Justin

2008-01-23T09:41:00.001+11:00

JUSTIN

Do not for one moment think ive forgotten about you.
We met about 1-2 years before i left for australia.It was the youth camp. you know..what surprises me was your amazing ability to socialize.It was your first youth camp,and you never met anyone of us before (maybe a couple of them you knew from school). but you were all out..giving everything you got... you played one the main characters in that youth camp talent night and you did your job superbly.

YOu blend in with people so easily and it is a joy for others to be able to know you.people tend to feel comfortable with you around them because you never leave them out. You have a great spirit and something about your character just draws people to you.

It was certainly a joy to watch you take your first step in getting to know Christ and watching how you started growing exponentially from that day onwards.Christ is just so real in your life and it is so obvious with your passion for him. SOmetimes life occupies us with things that would distract us from God.Devil knows the potential you have in reaching out to others but know this, you are stronger than it. Despite your circumstances, always find time to commune with God, do not let anything steal your time from God. Always, always put God 1st because he did the same for you.

Take care bro~!

Sing Rhu

2008-01-22T23:31:00.001+11:00

Sing Rhu

Sorry I know you like your Christian name alot..Chloe, but..i would still call you by your REAL name =p

Well she is probably the first friend I had stored in my memory bank.I cant remember anyone before her.We met in 1993(when I was 5 years old) . And we used to play around as kids.HOw do we play? disturbing and bullying each other =). We were Joseph and Mary in a Christmas production back when I was 7 years old. At 9 years of age, we were married.we were walking down the aisle sinking our fingernails into each other's skin(we hated each other but were forced to act it out in a play) and we said our vows in front of the children's church.ahhha that was a classic.

so we grew up hating each other until 12-13 years old.then those wierd chemistry started which ended up messing alot of stuff .ahha all i can say is that it was our first time.we were still clueless and were at the "what-to-do" stage. young and innocent but hilarious to think back about it.Remember how the 21 year old plan seem so far away..and now look how fast time just flew by.

hmm we were in St.John Ambulance Malaysia and i was proud to be able to know a sergeant who was my close friend =p. Well we pretty much had our own lives after 2002.there was so much that happened within the 2000-2001 period . It was a time when I had a head on collision with life and got myself into hot waters

Focussed, tough and strong-willed determination has been the driving force of your success to become what you are today.Do not forget the path God brought you through, the people he gave to support you along the way.use your gifts of leadership and music for God.Dont leave this world with all the potential left in you, leave this world..giving it all out for God's glory.

May you continue to be successful.
TAke care~!

Cheryl Teoh

2008-01-22T16:02:00.000+11:00

Cheryl Teoh

Know whats hard?Finding a picture of you alone is hard.Every other picture you have is always with someone else.What can I say...one of the most sociable character anyone can find~!

One of the first few friends I made when I first got down to Melbourne.It was at the beach.Rosebud beach. It was definitely surprising to hear that you were only here for 3 years and you totally lost your malaysian slang. you can try as hard as you want chez, but your malaysian slang is retarded.ahahaha

Hmm if i remembered correctly you won some junior singing competition before. And using your voice to lead people in worship, who can ask for more.A great entertainer, great actress, great spirit and a loving heart. A creative mind who often puts it into action by making lil presents, gifts and cards.

Always thinking about others.A great friend to have.Thanks for your company to the city,lunch movies etc. So many things u did to help me adapt comfortably.maybe you diddnt realize what you were doing but I guess you were just being your bubbly friendly self and it helped me settle in here very comfortably

I understand being a pastor's kid sometimes has its undercurrents. sometimes there are stuffs that happen behind the scenes that we cant help but to worry and at times be angry at it. But through all these tough experiences that you go through...know that you're not alone in it.Sometimes we don't want advice from other people because we know what they are going to say before they say it.we know the mechanics of Christianity .sometimes we focus too much on our problems that our heart drifts away from God. do not let the noise around stop you from hearing God =)

hey look at you today, you changed so much within just the last 2 years and im really proud of how strong you are today. =)

Really, thanks for your company and it has been my pleasure in getting to know you...

Stay adorable~!

Natasha

2008-01-21T22:31:00.000+11:00

Natasha

So it begins....
well i wont go through the full story. i'll spare the readers the details lol.
but we have gone through alot diddnt we?

I first talked to you on msn after PMR .we were comparing results and telling each other how much money we received just because of our PMR results.well we met probably in 2004 and i dunno how we ended up going down the same road.lol diddnt even see that coming.....

you were my daughter at one stage and i was your papa.lol looking back at it, i must say that was a smooth tactic you had there tasha.ahha

yes we had some very rough times but it thought us patience and maturity.yes, there were some mistakes along the way but we managed to learn from them.

I would like to take this time to say sorry.sorry for the permanent scars that were made.sorry for putting you through so much.sorry for the actions i did that left you bleeding emotionally. I do not regret knowing you but I regret the things i did.Some decisions that i made were not the best but yet you supported me all the way. I realize now how selfish and self-centered I was and I hope you forgive me for that.If I had in any way been the cause of your deterioration in studies..I am truly sorry.

Thank you for playing a big role in my life.I have learned so much within that 2 years of my life and I hope u did too.Now I am residing in Australia and youre in the US.Time difference only allows me to chat with u at unorthodox hours.

I am really glad that you came to know Christ and I hope He will continue to guide you.I can see that you'll be a really good mother one day.I know everyone says that but its true.haha

I hope one day we can meet again and catch up on life.it will surely be interesting.

Anyway thanks for everything...thanks for your support, thanks for your understanding, thanks for all the letters u made, gifts you bought, thanks for playing a big part of my life, thanks for everything!!.
THANK YOU!

Aiyuen

2008-01-21T18:45:00.000+11:00

Aiyuen

well let me introduce you to the one and only twin sister!ahha.
we met in 2003... and we never knew how similar we were until end of last year.
We have the same train of thoughts...same likings....same characteristics....same response to situations.It was getting freaky, so i got to a point where i wanted to find something different between us. So i asked the wisest question.."how many times did you go to the toilet today?" I was almost certain it would be different but guess what...it was the same number of times.lol! freaky!

Im guessing that God put very similar genes into us which explains how we think alike.
tho we may not look the same(tho we both have small eyes)...ahhaha but it has been a great journey going through life together with you.our study achievements are quite similar... our "partners" were similar in so many ways.... and our knowledge on the word of God are pretty much the same.and funnily we both wanna do missions.
ok twin,...i don't know why God made a duplicate of me in a form of a girl...i always thought 1 sean was enough for this world to handle lol.

I thank you for encouraging and helping me when i was down.always including God in the picture whenever i miss it.always reminding me of God whenever i neglected it. you are certainly someone that I enjoy discussing the bible with.really really hope u'll be coming down to Melbourne to further your studies.It was a regret not getting to know u more while i was still in JB .

All the best in the days ahead and may God's outstanding glory continue to shine through your life as a testimony unto others.
seriously..you don't have to change one bit, you're a perfect example for many for just being who you are right now.

Elaine Ang

2008-01-21T01:06:00.000+11:00

Elaine Ang

So it begins..my appreciation chain posts that will go on for the next few days and probably months. 1st up is elaine ang..just because u started this thing . well I have known you since 12 years old? but we never did talk much then.I guess we are kinda close now .funny how distance helped us get to know each other .

well what can i say...have never met someone who nudges me so much and even asks other people to call me just to get me online so she can juz bicker about stuff ahahha.If only u were that keen to give me money =p.For a person who constantly compliments herself....i really dont think i need to add anything to give u a confidence boost lol.

well ur blessed with so much...even your birthdate I can hardly forget. 8/8/88 ...ahha

I guess its still a wonder how we have so many friends in common( and in such a unique way too)..lol your primary school friends become my high school friends and my primary school friends become ur highschool friends and yet we both go to different schools throughout our schooling life.

hmmm life can be unfair towards you sometimes but you are stronger than the troubles that come your way.each time you come out of these situations you become stronger and stronger emotionally.You may not want it but God says you need it.He prepares you for a bigger battle in the future.This is your equipping stage.Do not let your circumstance make you lose sight of who God is.Do not in any circumstance resent any anger towards anyone... it will only drain you out.

Well to wrap it up..thanks for..
hmm thanks for being you.
=)

update

2008-01-17T22:58:00.000+11:00

hmm update on myself.

physically : not fat, neither slim
mentally : same...
spiritually : doing lots of bible studying lately... some parts are still hard to understand
emotionally : strong, independent,
socially :learning to talk and "handle" a range of different people
Waiting : Steph to come down to aus(feb). to start uni.
Hoping : Aiyuen would come to aus.Nikki to get a job at three.Enough money to pay my uni fees. God to take me higher.
Aiming : best student in radiography.double my pace in Christianity. more independent financially

Frustrations

2008-01-12T00:25:00.000+11:00

I was never prejudice...i was never racist....until I started working in a customer service's line.
I was naive...to the real world.I always wondered why some cultures could not get along....and y some cultures can....Being in the real world...dealing with real people teaches me more about life than philosophical interpretations.

this group of people that im talking about would go to any extend to get what they want...always at another person's expense.In extreme cases they are commonly known to go to the extend of killing and murdering just to get what they want.In a more civilized society like Australia, they are worst than the Jewish when it comes to money.I'm saying this based on personal experience. Although i know that not everyone in that race behaves this way...I would still say the majority of them do. The only ones that I would be able to accept are those from that race but are raised up in Australia.at least when they argue...they make more sense..and are more polite in conveying a complain.

what I got myself into this time?well it happens everyday but today was special.I lost my cool.What happened? I upgraded her phone.See, for upgrades we don't give anything to customers...but for her...she ask and ask and ask.....no...she didn't stop there...she continued to ask and ask and ask...so i got fed up..I gave her a free casing and a car charger.After that she wanted a blue tooth hands free in exchange for the car charger.WTH! I said no. then she said that I had used that to trick her into upgrading her phone. She was arguing for 10 mins..raising her voice ..attracting a crowd around me. Imagine..me working alone at the store and having her shouting at me with a crowd around me being entertained...I tried calming her down ...only to find her raising her voice louder. I stared at her face and said..."if u think i tricked you into getting the phone, u over stepped your limit.I'm not happy at the way youre talking to me and I can easily tear the contract u just signed...put the phone back and u can find another shop for a better deal." then she said "is this how you show customer service?"...you know wat..i was fuming at that time...felt like closing the shop and head for home.

I just kept quiet and didnt bother entertaining her ....in the end she took the car charger and left.I was just trying to be nice by giving free stuffs which ended up becoming my fault. It spoilt my entire day.I need a break.

Its only the older generation of this race that i try to stay away from.younger people are more reasonable.sigh.

yesterday was a wierd case....a guy came in and said that he doesnt like his phone and he wants a new one for free.I said u cant do that...u have to pay for it. And that guy said.."how can that be?that doesnt make sense to me.." and that argument went for 10-15 mins. silly, time wasting, unproductive.

i have heaps of similar cases.

you see the thing that bothers me is the way they talk to me.it is as though i am their slave and when i don't do what they say they would raise their voice.

If I was not in my uniform...i'll give them a high five.On their face that is.

From now on....if that group of people appears in the kiosk again, Ill just ignore them. I may not have as many sales but I would certainly be a happy man.

lookin back

2008-01-03T20:58:00.000+11:00

Looking back on 2007 I see it all...I realize why individual incidents that did not make sense at that particular point of time had taken place. It seems vague and sometimes meaningless to say everything happens for a purpose unless you actually see the outcome of it. The view at the point of hardship may be shadowed by frustrations and pain but the hindsight view of things puts everything back into perspective.

I went looking at some past posts that i did on this blog and I realized how much I have grown since then.mainly my fluency in English but even the perspective of life that I used to have was shallow in comparison to what it is right now. I certainly do not wish to be satisfied and complacent at where I am.I want to go deeper and deeper so long as my heart would beat.

Year 2007 had been a great test for me.I had to juggle my commitment in church....ministries...studies and also not forgetting the most distracting factor = emotions.I struggled with myself trying to subdue and not give in to my emotions.It was definitely hard and sometimes I thought my effort would be in vain.In the end, I thank God for the challenges I had to go through because I learned a whole lot out of it. The tougher the problem is, the stronger you get.It is true that God's grace is sufficient. I thought I had no more strength left within me to finish the race I started but God was there to see me through.I was about to give up on my studies 2 weeks before the exams.I dont know why.I ran out of fuel..out of will ..out of purose 2 weeks before the exams...but God was there pushing me on.

God has been good.NO...God has been faithfully good. I was stretched to my limit emotionally this year but would never portray the slightest sign of it to anyone else.I was good at putting up fronts and still am.I had a battle this year...a battle within me.It is amazing how much you discover about yourself through these moments....things that we were oblivious of until the test began.I dare say I am a far better man than I was last year without boasting of myself but boasting of the one who was behind the shaping of my character= God.I know I have my weaknesses, and I am working on exterminating it.Tho i know i will always have weaknesses as long as I live here on earth, I know I can subdue it and not be a slave to it. I have my scars that I had no one else to blame but myself.self-inflicted damage. I cannot see how this can be something useful to God at this point of time,but I have faith and that is all i need to believe that God has his plan laid out and may I CHOOSE to walk in it.

The dichotomy of life is that troubles is a subjective to the person's maturity
~Sean~

May 2008 be another platform of foundation
I can do with more platforms as long as it brings me higher
and closer to u

truth

2007-12-16T15:42:00.000+11:00

speak the truth.And the truth will set you free.

of course it is better to tell the truth than a lie. but is it better to keep some things quiet than to tell the truth? are some things not meant for others to know?

truth?truth..truth!

why are somethings done "up" there and should not be told to people "down" there?
answer: corruption

With noble intentions....but with sin creeping in through the world.there is no place for God.

it is no longer "GOD used you to do..." but it becomes "god used YOU to do..."

often we slide in "thank God" just to complete a sentence rather than actually meaning it.

oh wells it has been a great experience and certainly played a huge part in my growing stage as a christian.till then

auld lang syne

sillY!

2007-12-01T22:20:00.000+11:00

ok so i went down to the beach.freakin left my key in the car...AGAIN! and then had to trouble ben to drive me home to get my spare keys.... got back to the beach...got into my car and headed back home.

on the way i saw a paper sticking out my windscreen...what did i do wrong now?can this day go any worse? i took the paper out...it was a fine! 66 dollars! and i havent even started working! i looked at the reason...it literally said this
"PARKED - NOT FACING DIRECTION OF TRAVEL"

i mean...WTH!!!!! if u park a car...who cares which way is it facing? its a parking lot! its not like no parking at this area....it was a parking lot!!!!! it never said u had to face a certain way...and its not even in the rule book! we did L's and never learned such a silly rule. gosh!!!!

so i got fined last summer for going 82km/h at an 80 km/h zone
and this summer i get this! niceeeeeeeee
2 silly fines..juz that this is half price

how was my day? it was great!

adsfgdfh

2007-11-27T10:56:00.000+11:00

wow...i cant believe its only been a week since exams ended.
ive been out out out!!!! sleeping at 3-5am waking up at 8am....4 hours sleep every day...insane!
why am i blogging? juz cuz i decided to take a rest today...relax..chill...get back my lost sleep. and tomorrow ill be flying again.

basically im home juz for my bed...then in the morning im off.results in 3-4 weeks. who cares bout results!! people are more interesting than results ahahah.

actually even on my "rest" day today...im gonna head off to find jobs.hahah so fountain gate it is in 5...4...3...2...1..

cya when i cya

lakjsddhasg;

2007-11-19T10:25:00.000+11:00

its holidays!!!! and exam results are in a months time..!!ahhah crazzziiieeeeee
i think i got a bad average of 80% for all subs but hopefully that brings me somewhere.....no clue what study score that will bring me to.

but who cares....worst come to worst ill juz do science...

newaiz its hanging out time..signing off!

free

2007-11-17T09:30:00.000+11:00

and so its over.Would i like to do year 12 again? never! never in my life will i do something as crazy as this. i dont like studying.i cant sit still staring at something for 30 minutes.i need to move.im active!

I noe i may have done badly but i dont wish to do it again.no no...never! got pawned by the specialist paper....really bad...ahhah!damn

what im expecting?a miracle.

oh wells. ive never felt so free before.aaah!

Miracles

2007-11-12T14:58:00.000+11:00

yesterday was a healing service.Yes there were many miracles that happened.Praise God for that
but what irks me were the peoples attitude in that service.People began to look at the man who laid hands rather than the healer .arrggh i dont know where to start.

I saw this crippled man walked up to the altar.He was prayed for....and left the altar crippled.Then my thoughts began to stimulate.What about all that the preacher said earlier about no such thing as God's timing?the preacher said God would always heal.God would always say yes there and then.As my thoughts were running, i saw the mother of the crippled man telling her family that is was due to this crippled man's lack of faith.I felt disgusted.Disgusted that u would even condemn such a person.Disgusted that those words would even be blurted out.HOw low can anyone else go?
To walk to the altar was a step of faith!

I couldnt take it any more.I walked out of the hall.I began to think about it.It sounded convincing when he said how "it is not God's timing" sounds ridiculous.BUt as i thought about it further, God has his timing.

Ecclesiastes 3

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

It was further emphasized in verse 11 "He has made everything beautiful in its time"

Other verses that support this statement are
Jeremiah 31:31 , Luke 17:22, John 4 :21, JOhn 5:28, etc

NOt taking any credit off the preacher, but there were alot of good points.It was just minor stuff like this that I could not agree upon.

God has his timing for everything.Thats why he created time.Rapture itself is timely.

I dunno.I dont like people being condemn for their lack of faith when it actually is God's timing and God's plan.I have seen crippled people preaching the word and reachinbg to thousands and I believe that was God's plan for them.

Miracles are good, but should not be the foundation of our faith.Foundation of our faith should lie within the creator and perfector of it.Jesus

Honour

2007-11-05T21:52:00.000+11:00

I found myself watching this documentary on muhammad ali. I realised how little we as a generation know about what happen 10-20 years ago. The war....the politics... decisions that had changed the world...yet, we know so little of and to some of us...being oblivious to it.

It is an irony that we all want to do something significant to make a difference in this world and yet we dont recognise what had been done in the past.We want something to be done for everyone to see but isnt it more essential for it to be remembered? The world trade center incident sparked a new moment for a revival to occur when millions would suddenly go to church. but what happened after that? We remember the incident but not the moment.the emotions,feeling...andrenalin that was there at that time.

How are we to change the world if the world does not give enough recognition for it?
Remember our past heroes and honour them...
until we learn to do that...then will the future honour us

my quote :

UNTIL WE HONOUR OUR PAST ONLY WILL THE FUTURE HONOUR US

.....

2007-11-05T11:31:00.000+11:00

its 11.31 am... im scared.
specialist exam at 3pm.

how has the week been? scary. and for the next 2 weeks...scary..

but i cant wait for the brand new life after next week. then the thought of results a month later darkens the sky again.

ive decided to remain single till 21

You are near

2007-11-03T17:13:00.000+11:00

Verse 1 :
----G-------------D
Looking back at things
---C ------------ G
I wish I'd never done
--Em ---- D---- C
I wish I could forget
--G----- D
I try to see
------C-------------- G
How all of these could fit
---Em ---D------- C
I guess I am just blind

Em D C

Chorus :

----------C------- D
When I open my eyes
----G------- Em
I begin to realise
------C---------------- D-------- G
Oh Lord I've been searching for you
--C------------ D
Show me your way
-----G --------------Em
So I'll never walk astray
----C-------- D------ G
I know that you are near

Verse 2 :
--------G-------------- D
When troubles may blind me
------C----------------- G
And problems cloud my sky
---Em-------- D---------- C
I wish you'd know how it feels
-------G---------- D
Whenever I lose hope
------C--------- G
Whenever I feel down
-----Em----- D----------- C
It's you who let me stand again

Em D C -> chorus

Song and lyrics : Sean Sim 2007

Falling

2007-10-27T01:56:00.001+10:00

Verse 1 :
B F#
There are times when I'd always regret,
G#m E
There are moments I'd rather forget,
B F#
But beneath all that has happen,
G#m E
I'm still alive and breathing again..

Chorus:
B F#
When I soar above the sky,
G#m
I stretch to reach up high,
E
I'd be falling,
B
more in love with you,

B F#
When im trapped within my fears,
G#
The world would take me down,
E
I'd be falling,
B
more in love with you,

Verse 2:

B F#
I remember the happy moments,
G#m E
remembering the first sensation,
B F#
But most of all I'd always remember,
G#m E
The one who brings me through each day...

Bridge:

Days will come,stars will fade
but you will be my daily bread
time will fly and words go by
but your promises will never die...

lyrics by : Sean Sim
Chords : to be decided soon

silver coins

2007-10-23T00:11:00.000+10:00

i had 2 silver coins in my pocket.I stared at the silver coins that laid on top of each other within my palm.I reflected back memories of how i had spent my own money in the past.Some were worth the bargain...some were not.As I looked up, i saw rows and rows of candies.There was one which I had my eyes on.It was a chocolate bar,coated beautifully and was shaped like a bunny.I could afford it.I had enough.I knew if I gave up these coins, I would get that in return.That was definite. BUt i held it back.I dont know why.

Few months passed, And i got back to the candy shop. I began to search for the candy again.I couldnt find it! I began searching more franticly.I asked the shop keeper. He walked down the aisle and took out a wrapping. It was the chocolate bar.I couldnt find it before because it wasnt recognizable.Its different now.Few months ago I thought it looked fine.BUt now it looked different.It diddnt look tasty anymore.Maybe its the new wrapping the company made.

Im glad I kept my silver coins.Its all i have left.I may not know why I held it back but Im thankful for it.

pressure

2007-10-22T00:36:00.000+10:00

If u ever see me and I didnt stop to say hi....or maybe I ignored your greet, its not becuz im ignoring you...no...its becuz the pressure of VCE is consuming me... If you think im acting a lil different lately...i hope you understand...If i dun socialize or mix around much..I hope you understand....
If i diddnt give enough attention to anyone in particular...Im sorry.

If you see me online and raging at every minor thing.I hope you understand....Give me time...in one month, when all this is finished, ill be back to my old self...no. Ill be better than who i was.Give me time.Dont get offended by my unconscious ignorance.Dont misunderstand.

Prejudice

2007-10-18T01:01:00.000+10:00

The felony of society is not the various physical crimes committed by man but simply the undercurrent assault we tend to shoot unconsciously due to how we have been culturally brought up. Culture is something no one is exempted from.The question is are we here to break another culture in an effort to impose what we think is culturally right?Are we here to impose a so called biblical culture at the expense of introducing Jesus to them?My point is.... sometimes we get too consumed in trying to change another culture and miss the whole point of reaching out. What irks me deeply is the fact that people around the world are not divided by materialism or purpose but simply by our views about others.

Unconsciously we tend to generalize people into groups.Mostly according to their birth place and at times skin colour.The devastating effect has now evolved into a culture itself where we generalise groups of people and derogate a certain level of respect from them.If there is something I cant stand, it would be the prejudices of society.I really dont need to give examples because you would be able to see it happen everyday.Just open your eyes.

Sometimes we criticize another culture of being morally wrong.Sometimes we find ourselves saying "look at THESE people ..the way they behave..".We tend to generalize a whole lot of people.I know for a fact that maybe....just maybe for the sake of argument that the majority behaves this way BUT I believe that not all of them are like that.They are still human beings just brought up differently from us.

Even at church.People backslide because someone had been betrayed/back stabbed or whatever the reason is.. But we fail to see that even if someone else does not behave the way he should, it does not remove your own accountability with God.How silly would it be when you meet God and told him" I did not believe you because of him".Grow up!

I admit that I had a prejudice mindset....unconsciously.... but now I'm developing a hatred for it.I dont believe people's attitudes should be assumed from the race or skin colour that they were born with.I believe in individuality where everyone is unique.

Complexities of life

2007-10-16T13:32:00.000+10:00

To freeze a moment in time and to see the gradual process of life,one would only be conclusive that if there was anything certain in life,it is that life is uncertain.To look back at moments where memories could relive the moments, causing the emotions within to stir as if it was happening in the present, I could see moments when I could be so certain of where I am heading and the next moment the insinuation of life engulfs the very confidence I had.

BUt the moments where I would be in doubt is not constituted by one, but many factors in life. But amidst these points of time I found assurance.It is not only at the lowest of highest point in life that you get to experience the reality of God but also at the points of inflection in life.Each time something had cropped up to cloud my mind from distinctive clarity of my purpose, I would only resort to one thing. I have learned that solving issues with human strength would only make things worst ...or at times make things just "ok". Never with our own capabilities are we given the inclination or the capacity to turn our problems into a victory.It is only by GOd , and through God.

When the tides start to rise beyond our control, we feel intimidated and often lose hope. Experience has thought me that the best way....in fact the only way to overcome the impossibilities in life is to surrender.Surrender not to the circumstances but surrender to God.

It was not long ago when I had a "date" with God. I walked across the street to where a playground was.It was dark.as usual. I was often found alone at this hour at this place, each time I realize I could not handle the accumulation of the perplexity of life.Each time i managed to find time with God, I realize that it becomes my point of education by learning something new.My Christian walk is not grown through attendance of services but actually the quiet times I have with God.

This time it was something new.Something worth acquiring. As I lay down on the slide, I looked up into the sky.There were no stars.The clouds had covered them.I knew what God was telling me. The complexities and unaccustomed problems that I go through were similar to the clouds that covered the sky.It limits my perspective of life and focuses my eyes on the problems and not God.But the stars were there. I knew the stars were there but I couldnt see them. Then God spoke to me " Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

It struck me that although I could not see beyond the problems, I had to have faith that behind them.....

There was God.

The challenge

2007-10-12T16:10:00.001+10:00

HOw this year went for me....

I looked at her and pondered about it.It took weeks for me to decide.THen i looked at her again.YEs. Ive decided.Its her that I want!

I remember enjoying what she has to offer.she was interesting...and challenging.I like challenges.BUt little did I know how challenging the challenge really was.I worked hard at it, I put all my effort into it.I thought that if I could get her, I would be proud of my achievement, surely I would be regarded highly.BUt it wasnt that easy.After all the hard work and effort put in....I failed on the 1st attempt.

That happened at the beginning of the year.After that failure, I never really put any effort into it.I diddnt know if I should try again.I failed over and over again.I got depressed.I thought I had it in me. I thought I was good enough for her....or so i thought.Is it even worth my effort to try again?She was playing hard to get.

I later learned that many have failed to get her in the past too.

It was only last month I decided that I was not going to concede defeat.The last failure I had showed a glimmer of hope.There was a chance I thought.I could see the door was left slightly ajar and I was ready to charge in.I would take every opportunity.

I began to build up my courage and started putting effort into it once again.

And 1 month later(today).....I have her!

I know by now u will be asking who is this girl.hahaa

And because im in a good mood im going to tell you...

Its...its....Specialist maths!

haha! sorry to mislead u guys

what actually happened?

well ive been failing my specialist maths the whole year which is below 40%
after failing my first test, i actually gave up.
Then i started working at it last month and from 30+ all along....now i had a 70%!
A jump of 40% with 1 month worth of effort...ghaha
hopefully it has the same jump for the end year exams!
the story was actually the same as the above. Just replace the "she/her" with "specialist math" and you'll get the idea.

Take me away

2007-10-10T23:14:00.000+10:00

WHat i want to do after VCE? get out.

Away from everything close to me at the moment.

Away from my thoughts.

Away from people I know.

I want to do something different.Something meaningful.

I want to go into jungles, cut bushes, set up tents and preach

I want to bathe in rivers.

Get a diving license.

Make friends with those the world neglects

Make friends with prostitutes,gays, lesbians, criminals, sinners

I dont want to bring them to church but to bring the church to them

I want to be used to raise the dead,heal the sick, cause the lame to walk, blind to see

I dont want an average christian life.GOd forbid it.

I want to be different.unique.

I will get criticized and my motives questioned but I dont care what others think anymore.

oh.Send me away.open doors. Take me away.

Back again

2007-10-08T23:28:00.000+10:00

I gripped the steering wheel.Both hands were parallel to each other.Veins could be seen petruding out of my hands.I had my eyes focussed on the road.I could feel my sweat tingling around my eyelids but I remained focus.My left foot was balancing the clutch with my right foot on the accelerator.I was ready.Any time now...3...2...1....GREEN!

i sped off from the traffic light with my accelerator pressed towards the floor...the car was moving at top speed.Then came a T-junction.I didnt know which to choose.I couldnt decide.I stopped.I looked to my left...then to my right...Both seemed right to me but for some reason i went left.Later on down the road i realised that turning right wasnt that good afterall.I dunno why...maybe it was my gutt feeling that told me to turn left and I just went along with it.JOurney down the left road from then on was fun and exciting for the first few moments of driving.I enjoyed the scenery.I even stopped by some places.I spent quite an enormous amount of effort on that road.It was fun.But soon I came to a cross junction.

I could go straight and continue on the same road or i could make a left or a right.I looked to my left.I looked to my right.I looked straight ahead.my gutt feeling wasnt there to help me this time.I got out of my car and stood at the intersection.I waited for quite sometime and still couldnt make up my mind. i shouted to the right.nothing. i shouted ahead.nothing.I shouted to the left.I could hear a faint sound.probably it was my echo.but heck at least its something. I got back into the car and turned left.

It was a short journey.I diddnt noe if i enjoyed it.there was nothing much to see.nothing much to look around.probably that sound i heard was my own echo after all.i thought of making a U-turn.BUt i went on the road in hope that something out of the ordinary would happen.Time passed and nothing ever did.I started thinking to myself.Maybe this is the wrong turn.maybe I am just wasting my petrol but if I turn back, I would be doing double the trip and that would be even worse.I turned on the radio and it was not long before I saw a left turn.

It was a detour! Without having a second thought i took the turn.The road looked familiar. now.wait.I know this road.Wait.Isnt this....no....no...it cant be..then there was the traffic light...again. 3 left turns brings you back to the same place. ANd now here I am at the traffic light.back to where I started.

*if u understand...good on you. dont bother asking me to explain my analogies cuz theres a reason why its told that way =p*

rambles

2007-10-06T18:48:00.000+10:00

i am sleepy.....
thnx for the company btw
hmm i feel like ....doing ballroom
actually to be specific...i wanna do waltz....slow and sweet...
nah im not interested in classes...just wanna learn it off someone or probably find a video and try to imitate the routine... but i need a partner...haha

teachers

2007-10-04T09:05:00.000+10:00

Have you ever had a dream, and you woke up still thinking about it? It was one of those moments when I could just recall the teachers that God had put into my life to educate me to what I am this very day.In my dream I could remember kindergarten and primary school teacher's names, I could recall their characteristics, Their actions and there is always a moment of them that was captured in the memory bank that you could replay over and over.

I wonder what could I say to them if i met them now?
maybe to my kindergarten teacher it would be..
" You would know me as pas.kelvin's eldest son.I was your student from 1992 to 1994.I remember having different roles in your concert production.One of the most fond memory i had was being a prince and dancing with a princess only to twirl the princess to the ground..ahah i was probably a really bad dancer."

man that just reminded me....her name was Esther i think.and that was the last time i saw her.I dont know if its even possible to find out what she's doing now.It'll be interesting.

aaaah~! i feel the need of catching up with people that I havent met for more than 10 years.

to my primary school teachers i will probably be...
"hey , you might not remember me very well since you might have thought 100 over students but I was one of those student who sought after attention.You only can get attention if you're very smart or if you're a pest.Well I was probably top 10 in school but was never really the best so i resorted to being a pest.=)It was a good thing I diddnt kill anyone at that point of time..ahah."

If i ever go back to malaysia...my mission would be finding my kindergarten and primary school teacher's e-mail.

God bless all the teachers~!

Conference dance

2007-10-02T14:55:00.000+10:00

sidenote :
- done at the closing of conference
- almost perfect dance routine
- different ending than the other video
- recomended to watch in preference of the other video
- good sound quality

Side note :
- done on tuesday...beginning of conference
- the sound is very soft...need to turn up the volume
- some hilarious mistakes
- bad sound quality
- slightly different ending

The toy car

2007-10-01T04:51:00.000+10:00

I had left my toys behind.Some had been thrown away,some given to others and some couldnt be found.I found myself looking from afar admiring a slick black toy car.It was far beyond my reach.I know I would never have that.Some toys are just out of bounds for me.Even toys have been biasly priced to divide the rich and the poor. I looked up to dad and said "I know it is impossible ,but if there is anything I want that would make me happy, I would only wish for you to give me that toy car". In my mind i knew it was impossible.Dad kept quiet. Few months past, I read up magazines and manuals about the car and I found it to be flawless.It was the perfect deal and it was definitely in demand.Suddenly Dad came to my room...with a box,in there...was the car i had longed for.Something I would have never dreamed of.I took care of it,polished it and did my very best to preserve it.

MOnths past and I found the toy car to be not as perfect as it seemed.I found flaws.Soon the car was worn out and I could not play with it anymore.I sought other options.I went back to the same supermarket and had another look around.There ,2 toy cars caught my eye. I diddnt know which one to pick. both had their own advantages.both were in demand and had only 1 left of each in stock.if i did not make up my mind fast enough, both toy cars would be gone.I couldnt make up my mind, I went back to dad.Dad looked me in the eye and asked what happened to the car he bought a few months ago."it isnt working" i replied.

Dad looked deep into me and said "be patient my son, put your trust in me, I am making a toy car that will be suitable for you.I know your character,Ive seen you grown I know what you like.Some toys may seem perfect to you out there because people advertise it but because I know you by heart, I know what kind of toy cars you like.In time, I will hand it to you.For now, I am still working on it.Be patient."

I looked back with a teary eye and said " I have nothing to play with now....It is hard to wait.....but I trust you"

the narrow road

2007-09-30T00:10:00.000+10:00

Full of excitement and joy i entered.Suddenly there was a rush of wind .Everything changed.I saw from the corner of my eye.there it was,sculpted beautifully . it stood in the middle of the room.It reminded me of things that happened,memories i wish were never history.I remember that I could see it coming to end this way.I tried hard to protect it.I warned.I could see every step that was going to take place but I was powerless to stop it.I felt hopeless.

As I pondered longer I began to reconcile memories of people that have gone through the same path, each took a different turn in life but ended at the same dead end.Oh how true it is ," small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." oh how easy it is to step out of the road...how easy it is to make a wrong turn...Jesus said, "Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to.

Oh God, I asked for spiritual eyes and I thank you for granting me what I asked for.BUt oh God seeing these things that happened and things that are about to happen just causes my heart to cry out.I'm powerless to stop it.... my heart aches for them.I could see a sea of faces, each one falling off the narrow road due to circumstanced reasons. God ,my heart aches...There is an emptiness in my heart.....and it is for the lost.

Send someone oh God, if it is your will, send me.
I had a dream about you,but I'm shy

Rejuvenate

2007-09-29T01:08:00.000+10:00

HELLO WORLD~!
how was conference? are u kidding? it shouldnt even be a question.
HOW GREAT WAS CONFERENCE~!
i have been to many many many many conferences my entire life....and i dare say this is the best conference ive been too. there may not be a crowd.but it was personal~! and thats wat makes it special....like youth camps...its personal.
This is the 1st time we have 3 foreign speakers and all 3 of them are awesomely awesome.and ive received so much over the past few days.Ive never ever been to a conference which i was able to absorb such an extensive amount.The amount of information,amount of passion..amount of joy, boy....juz love it.
u noe wat, i cant really put to words how i feel right now....haha its just "WOW"....i dunno how to say more than that.....AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH~!

imagine....in 5 mins, im able to get 3 prophecies from 3 different powerful influential speakers...ahhhaha now where can u ever get that....

im not scared of VCE now...=p cuz whatever the result is...GOd will still fulfill his promises somehow.~!

THERE IS MORE TO LIFE~! and you know it!

=p

2007-09-21T23:35:00.000+10:00

i should be saddened by my UMAt results... but the funny thing is....I'm NOt~! to be frank.....im actually having a blast~! hahaha....
WOO~! love life...all the ups and downs....and this is probably the 1st time im enjoying the downside of life....what an irony

Looking at hindsight, i realized the one thing i achieved this year and to be proud of...is the ability to celebrate in the worst moments of life.Gone were the days of depression ...ahahha woo~!
KNow what...i may not have been achieving the goals ive set bUt what i did achieve is something more than that...which is the refining of ones character...

I have grown alot this year and i dont plan to stop here.Remember how Paul in the bible tried every way he could think of to spread the gospel? God just put road blocks along the way to make sure he goes the right way.BUt the important thing here is that he tried. and when someone turn him down..he tried somewhere else.

See, God's will in our life is vague at times.So I find myself trying and trying different areas...and hopefully GOd will put road blocks to show me the right way.To direct me to the course that fulfills the big plan? Im not even sure what im gonna do in uni...

BUt....LIfe's awesome~!

Report-Homo-sapien

2007-09-17T18:45:00.000+10:00

Report
17/9/07

Introduction:

A research was conducted to investigate the wierd and unpredictable nature of a particular species.One research in particular that caught my attention was this individual organism.Report goes as follows:

Species : HOMO-sapien
Name : Sean
Born : 13 June 1988
Sex : ~~Male~~ not yet
Religion : none
Lifestyle : Christian

Method :
1) several investigations were conducted and characteristics were spied upon
2)information gathered from friends and family
3)interview conducted to make sure of parallel connections to facts.
4) all data were recorded by tape and written down later

Results:

Dota ( online game)
found responding to it very often.
Advantages :He finds joy in making pros look like noobs.
Disadvantages : Time consumption

Sports
Advantages : capable of playing with both hands and feet
Disadvantages : often injuries in joints and at times dislocation of bones

Dance (popping)
Advantages : ability to isolate and control individual muscles in most of the upper body
Disadvantages : makes a retard look good

Chess (board game)
Advantages :-a source of confidence through winning competitions
- gains and expands logical reasoning
Disadvantages : Nerd

Studies
Advantages : Sets high standards
Disadvantages : always found disappointed with results

English
Advantages : relatively good command of english
Disadvantages : Spelling

Adaptability
Advantages :- ability to adapt to any environment
- ability to sleep on any surface (hard or soft)
- ability to eat a large variety of food
-sensitive to situations and customs
Disadvantages :Multiple personalities

Christianity
Advantages : sound knowledge of the bible
Disadvantages :none -*the disadvantages becomes God's advantage

Discussion :

Results are inconclusive and are subject to a certain period of time.Results and response may alter over time. HOMO-sapiens are prone to change in characteristics due to experiences and randomness.Male HOMO-sapiens as studied above are more predictable in comparison to females.As females tend to contain more random responses and are highly unpredictable.Legend has it that females were once predictable but the thought of it will remain a fantasy to many.

Conclusion :

Subject seemed to respond well and results are accurate to date of report.It is however subjected to change over time.Any errors in report should be reported to the comments section at the bottom of this page.

Send me

2007-09-15T14:32:00.000+10:00

As I open up my eyes just to realise,
A world neglected and often despised,
I see people running up and down a road,
Not having a slightest clue which way to go,

I see frustration and hopelessness in their eyes,
every now and then a child within them cries,
They cry out for help but to no avail,
Nobody cares about the weak and frail.

There must be someone who can help them,
There must be someone who can free them,
why are people not answering their cries?
Why do others give excuses and lies?

While Some choose to remain in their comfort zone,
And Some choose to cry out to God and moan,
But here I cry out loud for You to use me,
To make a difference here i am, send me.

Amazing

2007-09-12T16:08:00.000+10:00

Life is a roller coaster..youve just got to ride it.
give me a sign for me to make the 1st move
Amazing how life goes through ups and downs..
Amazing how we lose hope when we are at the bottom
Amazing how we neglect the people who needs help when we are at the top
Amazing how we would rather not be involve with other people's lives as things might complicate
Amazing how God would die for us and yet we are afraid to die for him
Amazing how God would help the tree grow knowing it would be the cross his Son would be nailed.
Amazing how some would compromise the Word to suit them
Amazing how i could fall in love but afraid to admit it, afraid of rejection
Amazing, amazing..

Thanks

2007-09-07T18:42:00.000+10:00

I went to bed last night pondering on my Christian walk.I havent been moving forward lately. all i have done is maintained myself from where i was.I needed to keep on moving and i knew studies had been the main distracting factor.I prayed a prayer "GOd bring me closer". and i slept.

Woke up at 5am..had to be in school for a SAC at 7.30.I was driving in the wee hours of the morning.After exiting the garage, i drove for 1km and all of a sudden the radio was not working.There was no cd or tapes.It was silence.I tried fumbling around with the radio..this is wierd.It never happenned before.The time shown on the radio was fine...it was still on..even the channel showed 101.9.but no sound was coming out.As far as my knowledge of electrical components was concerned...there was no way i could explain this.

Then i thought about it that moment.I smiled."hi God...its been awhile" was my reply.I recognised that instant that God was trying to speak to me.It was great..i poured my hearts out..my concerns...it was refreshing.THe next moment, words just started flowing out of my mouth, before i realised what was happening, i was singing a song...a song ive never heard of.NOw i know what it meant in the bible when it says "out of the innermost belly the mouth speaks".I found myself singing praises...singing new songs....just ...just amazing.

I reached school all refreshed. thats not the end of it.After school, i got into my car..started the engine and the radio was working again.Coincidence? i think not!

P.s
Thank you God.I needed that.

ramble

2007-09-02T19:45:00.000+10:00

GOing through 19 years of life, i have learned that the worst relationship to be in is when u run out of words to say.

sometimes feelings are not meant to be told but to be kept because it changes everything..everything...maybe some things just arent meant to be and some should just be kept silent until time kills it permanently... and life moves on.

You cant admit...u cant because everything goes wrong.THings are good where they are...but i want better.When suddenly the Want and the need starts to mariginalise themselves ...u become ignorant of what is not needed.

to cage this feeling is not easy.locks of patience and a cement of self control is needed.help.

Wait

2007-08-22T22:20:00.000+10:00

YOu took me as a caterpillar and wrapped me in a cocoon...a place ive been for the past 2 years....and ive learn alot being in here.truely i cant deny that ive gained alot..You have given me such annointing .....is it possible for a man to even contain all these talents,gifts and knowledge?God give me the opportunity to use each one of them only for your glory and nothing else...so that ipeople will focus their eyes on you.Rebuke me God if ever I mention to people more of "I" than "God"...rebuke me if ever i lead people to myself and not you...Discard me from your promises if ever i put your name to shame. but GOd, I am now ready....ready to break out of this cacoon and show forth to the world how much you have mentored me ....NO one...no one has yet to see what YOu can do through this vessel... and as i avail myself....i know the time is soon. im going to break out from this state ive been and spread the wings which ive developed in this cocoon...this place of you and me.Im ready.... but as for your timing...i shall wait and remain silent.

Jigsaw puzzle

2007-08-15T23:59:00.000+10:00

Right in front of me...on the top right hand side was a beautiful picture...It was a venetian boat gliding on the water leaving a ripple of soft smooth waves.The sun was orange and it reflected on the water providing a glamorous picture.That instant moment was priceless.how i wish i was in that picture enjoying the luxurious life that place has to offer. before my trail of thoughts went any further, i took up a piece of jigsaw puzzle.It was a blue piece.i looked carefully at my half done puzzle of the picture.this blue piece doesnt seem to fit anywhere.it had an odd shape, one that was not squarish but more of a trapezium shape. there were gaps both top and bottom and little things sticking out on both sides.it looked weird and did not seem to match any part of the picture.
Its been two days now since i have bought this piece of puzzle.It was the glorious picture that caught my eye in the store and i thought y not try it out.

i took the piece of puzzle and stared at it.i thought to myself..can this be a mistake?maybe this one doesnt fit at all in the puzzle.maybe it is a manufacturing problem.hmmm .after and hour or so ...after fixing up 3 quarters of the picture, i found out that the odd looking piece fitted nicely right at the bottom corner of the picture.

You know, sometimes in life, there are moments or situations we go through that we dont understand why it happens.We seem to look at it and ask ourselves how in the world is God going to use that to fit in his plan?You see your situations may have holes in it, flaws, terrible mistakes, sin.....but you know what...without that piece of your life, your life is not complete, your picture is not complete.YOu can throw that piece away, but it leaves a hole in the picture.do u realize that the gaps and the odd shapes of a puzzle piece actually binds the puzzle stronger?
God has a plan for everything and no matter how terrible your past was...It was there to fit into the big picture .....

what a day

2007-08-07T19:57:00.000+10:00

Shuffling about my seat..i glanced at the time, 3pm.Wow..ive been here for 5 hours...at the same seat.Well this morning i thought it would be a good idea to get down to the library to do some studying.Why not at home?Because there's too many distractions..i often find myself doing something else..running to the kitchen to grab a bite etc. So i headed down to the library..narre warren library...wasnt facinating...no private study area.i spotted a table near the window.That will do i guess.

Before long..5 hours just flew by with me still in the same seat.Wow.Im a nerd!Then a group of boys walked by...they were talking very loudly..As far as i could make out from their conversation...2 of them were trying to prove to the other two boys why the bible is iilogical..a myth.I couldnt help but to eavesdrop.And boy those two who wanted to prove the bible wrong certainly knew the bible well..They had strong facts and strong questions....it was obvious they had done a thorough research on it.

Their conversation went on.the more i heard it the more i aggrevated i became...they were despising the bible...saying it was juz some magic tricks...its just a myth..why this and why that...then a lady stood up and went to their table...she too couldnt take it and was there to defend her faith.(she was hot). ok continuing.... then i thought everything should be fine...soon..the lady ran out of words...she was caught in the corner....and like all gentlemen do...i stood up.

i walked towards the group and this was how it went

Me : hi, i couldnt help but to listen to your conversation..i really found it interesting with the questions being raised.do you mind if i join in?

Guy 1 : sure....

Me : regarding your earlier question..you asked how is it possible for all animals to gather in noah's ark.and what about dinasaurs?it sounds impossible isnt it?i mean 1st of all its hard enough for a human to even order animals around...ahah

Guy 1: yea that, and also ive seen lions eating deers and all that.how can it be possible for all of them to be in the same boat?

Me : Here's the deal. Do you know that the world used to have only 1 piece of land before it was seperated into different continents over time?By the way that was how people were seperated all over the world.After the flood noahs decendents went around the world...and over time...the land got seperated and thats how you have north and south america...asia..africa, etc

Guy 1: yea..i know that..

Me : I thought so u would.its basic knowledge anyway.So why is it not possible for all the land animals to meet at once place ?Since the land is not seperated, it would be easy for land animals to gather together.And if God is the one who created these animals..don't you think God can instruct the animals to go to noah?

Guy 3 says to guy 1 : you just got owned dude.!

Guy 1 : then how about all the animals in one boat without eating each other ?

Me : HOw do you think animals are kept in the zoos?but animals could be kept in one area.My point is...animals could be kept in cages and im sure Noah would know how to seperate the animals properly.for example carnivorous on the upper deck...etc.

Chick : yea! im sure they have boundries and cages!

Me : Also note that if God can shut the lion's mouth...he can prevent them from eating each other...

Guy 2 : what about dinasaurs.they cant fit in! and all the animals in the world? come on!

Me : Well...Noah diddnt put all the animals in the boat. Only land animals..and do you know that the bigger animals are mostly in the sea?and since it flooded....these marine life could just continue in their habitat....Marine animals are probably 100x bigger than land animals...and thats why Noah diddnt need to keep them on the boat.

chick : yea! like whales!

*she was funny...*

*silence*

Me : ( to break the awkward silence) i also found it facinating how you would say God is not real..because you cant see him.hmmm....Do you see the air particles?

Guy 1 : No..

Me : you cant see them but u can feel the effect of it..the wind..the breathing...YOu see, God may not be seen but u can see the effects of it..the nature...the living organisms..everything around us proves it.

Guy 3 : thats right..

Guy 1 : why then are there poor people in the world if God loves them?

Me : A poor person wouldnt know he is poor unless he compares himself with someone richer..

Guy 3 : wow..true..

* the conversation went for one hour.....covering everything...literally everything...i mean 1 hour....gosh*
*cut the long story short*

GUy 1 : whatever it is i still wont believe this bible...it just doesnt make sense

Me : to be honest...i cant force you to...im not here to force you to believe it.Im here to tell you the reason why i believe in it.You ask me why ...i answer.BUt for you to believe it..God needs to touch you personally.

So what do you know...today was just great...i later found out that chick goes to roman prebytarian somewhere in narre warren.... thats besides the point =p

How do I love the Lord with every part of me for every moment of my life?

2007-06-18T19:26:00.000+10:00

How do I love the Lord with every part of me for every moment of my life?
i mean the point is Jesus said if u do not obey me...u dont love me..
and to love God, u must do it with all your heart, soul and mind...

but the reality is do we love God with ALL of our heart?each day, as you live your life and sneeze another day by, do you actually conciously THink,eat,walk 100% of your day focussing on God? is it then impossible to give our ALL to God?doesnt then that makes us sin everyday?

The fact is...its true that we cant!

Romans 3:23
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

Paul here clearly states how we stand before God.No way there is a possibility that we are able to give our all.BUt just as the way GOd says "be perfect for i am perfect".Jesus here puts it in similar fashion providing us a benchmark towards what we should strive for by saying

"Deuteronomy 6:5
Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength."

It is only by God and by him alone do have the ability to repent from our sins.

Psalm 18:32
It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.

for awhile i have thought of the bible as being a blank picture with lines drawn to form a picture.And i thought my job was to colour that picture as beautifully as i can not going out of the lines. BUT now i realise that christianity is more than just colouring between the lines.Christianity is more than just obeying laws after laws..Christianity is more than trying to be sinless so you can get to heaven.

We are all created differently and therefore our worship and lifestyle should not be stereotyped by what others think it should be.When Jesus was asked about the laws.Jesus replied the same answer "love the LORD your God and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul". It is a matter of where our heart is and how much we prioritize him in our lives. Lifting up hands and closing our eyes during prayers does not make one holy. Christianity is more than just rituals!It is more than just a confession booth.It is where our heart should be.

Yes, we fall short of it every single day.but Paul urges us in phillipians 3:12

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

i hope this has helped...

The cruxifiction

2007-03-10T22:35:00.000+11:00

Of medical significance is that Luke mentions Him as having sweat like blood. The medical term for this, "hemohidrosis" or "hematidrosis" has been seen in patients who have experienced, extreme stress or shock to their systems (Edwards). The capillaries around the sweat pores become fragile and leak blood into the sweat. A case history is recorded in which a young girl who had a fear of air raids in WW1 developed the condition after a gas explosion occurred in the house next door (Scott). Another report mentions a nun who, as she was threatened with death by the swords of the enemy soldiers, "was so terrified that she bled from every part of her body and died of hemorrhage in the sight of her assailants." (Grafenberg)

The scourging prior to crucifixion served to weaken the condemned man and, if blood loss was considerable, to produce orthostatie hypotension and even hypovolemie shock.8, 12 When the victim was thrown to the ground on his back, in preparation for transfixion of the hands, his scourging wounds most likely would become torn open again and contaminated with dirt.2, 16 Furthermore, with each respiration, the painful scourging wounds would be scraped against the rough wood of the stipes. 7 As a result, blood loss from the back probably would continue throughout the crucifixion ordeal.

With arms outstretched but not taut, the wrists were nailed to the patibulum.It has been shown that the ligaments and bones of the wrist can support the weight of a body hanging from them, but the palms cannot.Accordingly, the iron spikes probably were driven between the radius and the carpals or between the two rows of carpal bones, either proximal to or through the strong bandlike flexor retinaeulum and the various interearpal ligaments . Although a nail in either location in the wrist might pass between the bony elements and thereby produce no fractures, the likelihood of painful periosteal injury would seem great. Furthermore, the driven nail would crush or sever the rather large sensorimotor median nerve . The stimulated nerve would produce excruciating bolts of fiery pain in both arms.Although the severed median nerve would result in paralysis of a portion of the hand, isehemie eontraetures and impalement of various ligaments by the iron spike might produce a clawlike grasp.

a blatant truth that twists the blade of a pierced heart.with blood clotted in the heart,unable to circulate its usual path,it has caused chemicals to react within its body to form a solution which is poisonous enough to stop one's heart from beating.No, my saviour did not die of pain or suffering, he died of a broken heart....

Psalm 51:17
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Isaiah 65:14
My servants will sing out of the joy of their hearts, but you will cry out from anguish of heart and wail in brokenness of spirit.

And yet all that just for you.Sometimes i wonder if its worth all that just for you.but GOd did it.And yet you say you are too busy for him?and yet u say wait till after i finish studying?and when you work u will say you are too busy.I am not asking you weather you know Jesus died or not.I am asking if you REMEMBER!you still think your pain and hurt is that big of a problem now? after all that CHrist has suffered, after all that he has done...what is it compared to yours?Tell me!HOw important is God to you?

spare the next 10 mins of your 39420000 mins of life(assuming u live till 75)...to watch this.If GOd had gone throgh that much just to save you, the least you can do now is watch this clip....

a journey unseen

2007-03-09T18:01:00.000+11:00

life, despicable to its nature, u reach a peak then u slide down a valley only to torment your tired and restless body,pushing yourself again to conquer the next peak,the next hurdle.Hurdles which are not for the faint hearted, hurdles that only some will suceed,others run away. how much more can this body,this mind, this soul endure?If only the peaks were laid with green pastures,with streams of living water,but no, a peak with rocks and caves,darkness rule the night as the mountain overshadows the moon.One can only hope that the next step is safe.

What is it that pushes me on?Do i fabricate another world and live pretending a life confabulating my own mind?Or do i face up the challenges ahead taking it one step at a time?.an obvious decision but leaves many in dilemma,many unwilling do be vulnerable to the truth,many who dispels what they think isnt right for them, filtering one's thoughts with their own motive.It is time now.To rise up and face the challenges of life! though u may fall but because you fall, you could stand again,because you fail thats y u succeed. Success without failure can be fantasized but down right unrealistic.

Because people fail you, thats why u grow stronger.because others hate you, thats why u love others.because life is a journey, thats why you need to put the next leg forward.because you are not alone in this.you are not..

zzz

2007-01-12T09:25:00.000+11:00

period of silence between the old testament and the new is 400 years....
im goin thru a period of silence for 2 months now.....so i guess if u compare to that it wont sound that bad..lolz

statement of faith

2006-12-11T20:24:00.000+11:00

so vce result is out today.some are happy some are sad...some did good andsome did bad...oh!! it rhymed k k lets try to make a poem for this...

Some are happy some are sad,
some did good and some did bad,
no matter what the results do be glad,
that ur friends still love u and thats that!

lol..k it sounded nice..=)
so anyway yea vce results are out....what can i say...im inspired to study now! hahahah
i will set my aims that i can achieve...reasonable aims .....which is....not to get 99.95 but juz get Dux...ahha
i believe it is possible if i really want it and work for it...hmmm in case some of u dunno wat dux is.,..it means ur the top student in the school....and for my school u probably need 99.95 to get dux i think....but thats not wat i want..i juz want dux...=p okok back to reality...wait..i am in reality....im gonna work hard next yr....not to challenge any other person...but to set a standard

wat i plan to do is to juggle 3 things next year
1)vce
2)church services and meetings
3) ministries

i believe that with obedience and faithfulness to God ...exam results will be better.
there are so many contributing factors to a good exam result...of course hard work is one of them but wat about peace of mind during exam?stress?health?unexpected things can happen anytime and anywhere...i have taken 3 major exams and if it was not God who gave me the results i dunno who did.

when faith is practiced....by spending more time with God, it is not a waste of study time, but instead it works the opposite as it helps ur study time.You realise u have moretime to study when u spend more time with God.

So to those sceptics who think coming to church juz waste study time...im gonna prove u guys wrong.im gonna show why God comes1st in the priority list.

Welcome to my World

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Life as a game of chess

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things got better..or did it?

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